Manure In Our Back Garden

I hate manure

I think we’ll do this lot. Not in the sense that we can beat anyone on our day, but genuinely because I believe we’re good enough and now consistent enough to take them apart.

I don’t engage with too many of their ‘fans’, as most that I am aware of (careful not to say ‘know’) are made up of the worst kind of live-in-london-never-been-to-OT-but-watch-them-on-sky-a-lot-and-it-makes-me-an-expert types, but the general consensus from those reds whose opinion I hold in any sort of regard, seems to be that they would be happy to escape with a point from Sundays game. Do any of them really believe they can go a whole season unbeaten? Most of them are amazed that, in a season where they’ve only played decent football in patches, it hasn’t happened a few times already, and are worried that

White Hart Lane

will be where the run comes to an end.

But we’ve been here before. A potentially shaky looking back five, a midfield made up from a few of Nani, Giggs, Carrick, Park, Felcher,  (not a typo), interspersed with a couple of Gibson’s and O’Shea’s, Rooney up top, and they always look like they might give something away. Master of the collective over the individual, ol’ rednose always manages to get the better of us.

You could play Ferguson’s pre-match press conferences for this fixture on loop- the flattery, ‘they’re a team on the up, they play great football, they’ll be a big threat’, and how Spurs v Manure is always a great game. Of course it is, he always bloody wins them! It was how Mourinho used to describe us until we beat Chelski, and only then did the derision begin. This is exactly what I want from ol’ rednose. His ‘noisy neighbour’ comments betray his fear over what’s happening at Middle Eastlands, and when he starts giving us that kind of attention and scorn, that’s when we’ll be a threat. This time around though, he’ll know that all the talk of us being a danger is more than just sound byte.

There’s something different about this Tottenham, version 2.011. No longer do we sit and wonder which of our players will step up and have the game of their lives, while praying our own onion bag leads a charmed life. This season has seen us develop that rarest of traits, winning ugly and when things aren’t going our way, finding goals through that extra flash of quality or sheer bloody-minded determination to force the ball over the line. It’s what the best teams do. It’s what United have built the last 20 years of their history on. I won’t list our danger men, we all know who they are. I’ll admit to being a bit disappointed that Beckham won’t be installed in the Huddlestone role, where Harry saw him playing a big part, despite his talk of being cover for Lennon, but Jenas has been OK and believe he’ll play in a midfield 5 with Defoe up top. The rest of the team picks itself.

In Other News…

Feelings continue to run high over our proposed move to Stratford and the #saynotostratford brigade are tweeting in their hundreds. My feelings on the matter are in the previous article HERE.

Bentleys off to Brum where I hope he discovers enough form to get his price back up to a reasonable level. Good player, but never quite done it in a Spurs shirt which, if he has any personal pride, will hurt. May a change of scenery change your fortunes young man. Like that f**kin jeep that’s been parked outside my house for 2 months, Honest Bob just will not leave. To be fair, he’s keeping his mouth shut, I’ve just seen too much looped footage of him training next to our new #77 and his face annoyed me all over again.

Pienaar is on his way apparently. He’s very welcome, a Jenas type ball winner who can play a bit, just a bit younger and better. A great addition. As for Phil Neville? After initial scepticism, if Harry thinks any player can come in and do a job and add to what we already have, then I’m fully behind it. He’s in the centre of the playing staff everyday and knows what’s needed, so whether it be a pacey winger or a battle worn vocal leader, if he thinks it’s what we need, then I trust his judgement.

Predictions for Sunday lunchtime? I’m almost hesitant after correctly predicting the Villa game, but putting my 100% record on the line, I’m calling a 3-1 home win. F**k it, 4-1.

Tottenham and the Olympic Dream

The Perfect Solution

From the early rumours that the bid for the Olympic Stadium was just an attempt to scare Haringey Council into approving the Northumberland Development Project, each subsequent noise coming out of the club, our financial partners, and the fear-laden bleating of the Caravan Club HQ, has indicated that we are in fact, deadly serious about moving the 6 miles to Stratford. And why wouldn’t we? Whether it’s propaganda being fed to us by the club or not, a move to the OS costing between 150-200 million, or the NDP costing 450m, would certainly seem to make sense. And let’s not forget all the add-ons that the NLP would entail. Seeing the long-term value for the area by investing in the project, when The Emirates was built, Arsenal were given substantial financial assistance to improve public transport infrastructure by the local authority. From day one, all Haringey seem to have done is placed obstacles in our path. Not content at throwing our plans out because they view a few non-descript shells as listed buildings, sending us back to the drawing board at great expense, they have requested further investment from the club to improve transport links to the area. Despite David Lammy’s laughable attempts to strong arm Daniel Levy, it’s a battle with only one winner, and his outrage at the clubs abandonment of the area seems all the more pathetic, put up against Daniel’s refusal to get involved in any back-biting and adherence to the party line that we’re keeping our options open.

But our club doesn’t play in boardrooms or on political stages. It plays in Tottenham. What do I care about how much a new stadium is going to cost, it’s not like I’m going to be paying for it? It is the board, through corporate tie-in’s, sponsorships and player trading that will have to work this out, but it doesn’t give us as supporters, carte blanche to ignore the realities. We can’t complain about the cost of replica shirts, ticket prices and baulking at £30m price tags of players whilst ignoring the financial realities of trying to move the club forward. There’s nothing I, or I’m sure the board in an ideal world, would love more than ‘New White Hart Lane’ on the site of our current stadium, 60k+ seats, kop end, amazing transport links, but the decision makers with all of the facts at their disposal know that when comparing the OS to the NDP, staying where we are is not making any financial sense.



The Money Mans Choice



It’s impossible to separate the club from our own emotions when we invest so much of ourselves in it, in and around the ground and through mediums such as this one. Our club is part of our own identities. If any of us were asked to complete the sentence ‘I love Tottenham Hotspur because…’, depending on our generation, we’d most likely turn in roughly the same exam papers. Mine, for example, would include memories of the great players I’ve seen in our colours, the way we play the game, great goals, the hug-a-stranger moments during the epic games and memorable victories. Way down on the list would be Tottenham itself.

The truth of the matter is that very few Tottenham fans come from Tottenham nowadays. Like most supporters of the all the London clubs, the demographic has moved to the outskirts, mainly Essex and Hertfordshire in our case, and the focus and relevance of the modern game has changed with our own migration. A teams relevance in the upper echelons, where we are certainly aiming to be, is about domestic success, Champions League participation, the calibre of players we can attract and the sponsorship deals that fund it all. A sad indictment of the modern game? Perhaps, but that’s another debate. Point being, nobody from Samsung, Emirates Airlines, AON etc give a monkeys where you’re from or where you play, the only relevance to them is your market share, global exposure and the headline makers in the team. It would be nice to think we can get to where we want to be by staying in a 36k stadium, but state of the art training and match day facilities are what will attract the biggest sponsors and ultimately, the biggest players to get us where we want to go.

If history in a wider context has taught us anything, it’s that standing still is not consolidating, it’s going backwards. We finished fourth through years of investing in youth and some clever negotiating from Levy and co on the financial side, but to get to where we want to be, a move to a bigger and better home, through minimised expense and maximised profit, is our only answer if we ever want to be among the elite of world football. There are some that will say they’d sacrifice it all in the name of tradition. FC Hotspur of Tottenham may even rise from the ashes. It’s yours. No sale here. They’ll soon realise that the spirit of the club isn’t Tottenham, in the London Borough of Haringey. A dodo atop a VCR might be more appropriate for FC TofH advocates, but if it comes to it, the cockerel and ball will live and roll on elsewhere, and that’s where I’ll be.

The walk down Willoughby Lane, the Decorata chippy, The Olive Branch, the walk down the Park Lane, ascending the stairs to the South Stand will in time hold a wonderfully nostalgic personal memory for the way things used to be, but it’s all peripheral to what we’re all in Tottenham for. Would it mean anything if it wasn’t followed up by watching my team play? Would I do this on a non-match day because I felt that being in Tottenham was a definitive part of being a Tottenham fan? I’m sorry, but no, I wouldn’t, and I doubt anyone else would either. The pre-match ritual and banter with Flymo, Latino, his old man and his brothers will change location, but will still be there. Our seats will move, but will still be there. The team will move, but will still be there. Our history will still be up on the walls, on film, on paper and in our memories. We’ll share the highs and lows, victories and defeats in the same way we always have. The individual memories we all have of our times at White Hart Lane will be with us for as long as we’re breathing and have marbles rolling around up top, and we will be the privileged few who can talk to our grand kids about our famous old home.

The Petty Behaviour of Sky Sports

Sky Sports, you let your viewers down, you let your viewers down...

Just a little vent today. Did anyone watch Soccer Saturday for this weekends F.A. Cup score updates?

I can only assume that Sky won’t be broadcasting any live F.A. Cup games this season for one reason or another, but their conduct was so transparent and dismissive of the nation’s biggest domestic cup competition as to warrant an independent enquiry. In the studio were the usual group of slack jaws, commonly given the big games of the day. This week, in all of Sky’s petty, childish glory, they were given games that, forgive me, I can’t even remember, such was the quality of coverage. On FA Cup 3^rd round day, at least one of them was covering a run-of-the-mill league 1 game. To be fair, jeffntheboys looked genuinely embarrassed.

Every time the panel were cut to for an update of their games, it was ‘the lad’s played it down there’, ‘the fellas crossed it over’, ‘the strikers got on the end of it’. They hadn’t even given them a squad list to refer to the numbers on the back of the players shirts. Every time Stelling mentioned the phrase ‘cup shock’, you could imagine a Luca Brasi type standing behind the camera. Silent, head shaking, stroking his gun.

I’m sure they’ll point to an attempt to cover all of the days play, but when they’ve got a correspondent on the end of a crackly phone line at Sunderland v Notts County, Norwich v Orient, Blackburn v QPR and Burton v Middlesbrough to name but a few, you’ve got to start questioning just what kind of service they are providing.

They aren’t the BBC, but they are a paid for service by their subscribers, and as such, have a duty to provide them with coverage from the compelling games of the day. On FA Cup 3^rd round day, as churlish as it may sound, viewers want to hear about shock results and cupsets. What happens in a hastily re-arranged league fixture between teams that have already been knocked out has little or no appeal in comparison. Their conduct was embarrassing and a big 2-fingered salute to their customers who’ve paid and tuned in to watch them provide their football coverage.

Addick-ted to Mods and Walcott is a Prized Plum

Stolen from the Walcott family album

In the end, a job well done.

Cuddlychins, 6.5- Made a couple of decent saves near the end, largely untroubled.

The whole back 4, 6- Again, largely untroubled, but done what they had to pretty well.

Krankie, 5- No lack of effort, but no real end product. To be fair, the guy is a central midfielder, largely asked to play on the left wing. A very good player on his day, but he needs games.

Wilson, 4- Another shaky performance. Obviously a top draw fella, but have we outgrown what he has to offer?

Sandro, 6- Looked far better alongside Modric. Intelligent use of his body in several challenges. He’ll play a big part next season.

Townsend, 8.1- Gets the MOM over Mods simply because he played twice as long. In a team bereft of pace, he quickly established himself as our danger man. Saw him a couple of years back for Orient when they played Southend, and wasn’t mega-impressed. An off-day or quality of team-mates? Who knows, but he was very lively yesterday and his confidence grew as the game went on. Biggest praise I could give him is that he can count himself unlucky if he’s not on the bench v Manure. Well done lad.

Modders, 8 (on for Wilson at HT)- Changed the course of the game. Watching him this season has been a joy, and if he can add goals to his game, we’ll own the EPL version of Iniesta. I don’t say that lightly. Magnificent.

Defoe, 6.5- Typical Defoe performance, ran about a bit up front but delivered a couple of good finishes this time. Nice shooting practise for next weekend.

Pav, 5- Ran the channels quite nicely again, but his touch has deserted him of late. Needs to rediscover it quickly.

Not a bad F.A. Cup weekend all told. Dalgleish has started as I’m sure he’ll go on, my second team, Leyton Orient, beat a goal-happy Norwich City at their gaff, and the Geordies, Mackems and Boro got embarrassed. In fact, Leeds are now the most Northern team left in the competition, and could have been the talk of the 3^rd round again had the inevitable not come to pass. To be fair, I actually thought both of the late challenges were penalties (or at least, certainly seen them given for a lot less), so why the budget Aaron Lennon felt the need to come out and say he’d took a tumble (your honour) is beyond me. ‘I’m a good boy I am, I’m ever so ‘umble guv’. Leave it out Theodora, there’s a big difference between honesty and stupidity, and I’m afraid you’ve crossed the line on this one. Still, holding him up as the nation’s moral compass is far easier than trying to diagnose any post-match tourettes in the boy. ‘I’m not that kind of player, I don’t like diving’… well, you are, and you did. Plum.

So Beckham has arrived for training/ a medical then? After Harry publicly declared that the deal was all but complete, the news filtering through pre-match yesterday was that he was only here for some shuttle runs and cone dodging. BUT WAIT! It’s not dead yet! Wake me up when it’s sorted.

Charlton Fan Interview And Some Other Things

A real life addick

Well, well. After my claims that Mr Beckham would be unveiled along with Lord Lucan, it would appear I should start practising my best sheepish look. All noises would appear to suggest that he’ll be confirmed later today and might even be paraded around, Roman Emperor style, at Sunday’s game. Unicorn drawn golden chariot and funny hat, I’m told, is optional.

So Honest Bob wants to stay in London and get a massive relegation avoidance pay-out help the Spammers fight for their lives, presumably shifting some tea-towels down at Queen’s Market along the way? Bore off Bobert, I’d had enough of you a year and a half ago. Bentley to Newcastle? Best of luck lad, assume this paves the way for Liverpool to bid for Wayne Routledge? Saddest transfer merry-go-round EVER.

It’s FA Cup 3^rd round weekend people! The magic and sparkle is still there isn’t it? Ronnie Radford, Wrexham… and all those other memories. Romance, giant-killings, tradition, black and white footage of 9 million people packed into Wemberley? Marvellous.

To me it means there will be at least one decent game on normal telly (Woolwich Wanderers v Leeds, Saturday, 12:45 on ITV if you’re interested?) and a day when your acca is bound to mess you up with the customary shock win or draw somewhere or other.

On paper, we’ve got a somewhat tricky tie of our own. An ex-prem London club in patchy form, playing for the first time under a new (albeit caretaker) manager, most of their players looking for a new contract or a chance to impress on a big stage, and us on the back of a first defeat since October and carrying a number of suspensions, injuries and tired legs aplenty.

I have here with me (thought that made it sound more live and cutting edge?), Dave Junior, a Charlton season ticket holder who follows his club up and down the country and will be in the away end at Sunday lunchtime. After bashing heads for a while, here are some thoughts that dribbled out:

Rio: Who’s your danger man?

DJ: Danger man HAS to be Johnnie Jackson. 13 goals this season from left midfield (although a fair share of penalties), and as an ex-yid, I’m sure he’ll up his game that extra notch.

***FOR THOSE CONSIDERING GIVING JACKSON A POLITE CLAP ON HIS RETURN TO THE LANE, HAVE A READ OF THIS FIRST***

Rio: Any up and coming Charlton talent to look out for?

DJ: Scotty Wagstaff has really come along this season and chipped in with 7 goals despite not playing as regularly as Jackson/Racon/Semedo.

Rio: Thoughts on Parkinsons departure?

DJ: Parky had to go (shouldn’t have been given the job in the first place IMHO). Although we aren’t in any danger of going down, I really couldn’t see him taking us up any time soon and the club just can’t afford to be languishing in league one.

Rio: Most feared Spurs player?

DJ: Any Spurs player with a bit of pace is going to tear our defence apart, but I think Lennon is a quality little player and could have an absolute field day on Sunday!

Rio: Prediction for the game?

DJ: Heart – 1 all and a nice money spinning replay at The Valley.

Head – 3-0 Spurs.

Big Thanks to Dave Junior there, top man.

So there you have it. Let’s hope we’re not on the wrong end of an FA Cup shock on Sunday, but in the meantime, keep your ears to the ground for any transfer news. Phil Neville? I can’t even find the words.

Uncharted Territory

Add caption

Writing about a defeat? Something I’ve not had to do in the illustrious history of this blog. Let the knee-jerking begin.

Managed to eventually find a non-rubbish stream for the game, thanks to ‘@N17’ on twitter, and despite a shaky start, we certainly looked the more composed and accomplished approaching half-time. The missis then needed the laptop to do a bit of work, but I wasn’t too disappointed. It wouldn’t be pretty but it looked like we were on course to get another goal early doors in the second half and wrap up another 3 points. It never materialised, and having switched to SSN, Le Tissiers updates were beginning to sound more and more worrying as the half went on; Bale limped off, replaced by Krankie (who was apparently rubbish) and then the inevitable happened. Sheesh. I turned over when I heard Honest Bob had come on.

A fine run comes to an end. Disappointing, especially with all those around us dropping points, but that’s the way it goes sometimes. Not a disaster, and those pointing to the result as an example of Harry’s inability to change games from the bench need to get a grip and have a look at what the squad has achieved in the past year under his guidance. We’re not f**kin Liverpool after one below-par performance. I do, however, have a few gripes.

After Saha gifted possession to Bale, why oh why did Crouch stray offside? Unforgivable, you’d get shouted at in an under 10’s game for that. Steven Peanut’s ‘free-kick’ which Rafa pounced on? Shades of Nani at OT earlier in the season, but we’re not Manure and weren’t playing at OT, so it was never going to be given.

Peter Crouch. Oh Peter, you are a frustrating one, but I can’t help but like him. He’s an honest lad who carries out his job to the letter (without scoring goals of course), always a willing runner, great at defending corners, and will fight for you all day. Problem is, when you start him, you’ve got nothing to turn to. A tight game like yesterdays, approaching the last 20 minutes is exactly the time you bring on Big Pete to shake things up. Previously comfortable CB’s are suddenly faced with a new problem when the legs are getting tired, and his industry is put to far better use. Used correctly, he causes havoc. Despite his poor recent return, Pav would have been most people’s choice to start last night, and inevitably be the one to eventually give way.

Compiled by Trashpost from COYS, tweeted by the excellent @WindyCOYS, some interesting stats this morning which add weight to the argument:

‘’Since January 1st 2010: averaged 2.29 pts per league match Pav has started (18 matches: 12 - 4 - 2). Crouch 1.64 (24 matches: 10 - 6 - 6)’’

At least Defoe’s back! Anyone?

It’s no big secret that we need a forward, but one at a requisite level is hard to come by. You either pay £30m+ for the finished article, or £15-20m on a good prospect. Whether we like it or not, we’re still in a position that requires us to take a bit of a gamble, so Carroll seems to be a no-brainer. Read an ITK that said we were in talks over Carroll and requested that Newcastle say he’s injured until the deal can be done. Sure enough, he was on the bench last night. Not exactly conclusive evidence that he’ll be unveiled on Sunday, but with their replacement striker scoring a hat-trick last night, would Ashley be tempted to cash in with this still fresh in the memory? Given his form, I wouldn’t be surprised.

Fingers all kinds of crossed that the Bale injury isn’t too serious. We need him back for the Manure game.

A Merry Christmas and The Greatest Sideshow on Two Legs

He's also quite good at football

Well, what a jolly old Christmas. 9 points, one goal conceded and lots to discuss. I would make apologies for my lack of festive postings, but I’m sure you managed to fill up on Tottenham related nourishment through many less lazy blogging outlets than mine, so there should be no empty bellies.

First the on pitch stuff:

Villa- Never a red card, the ball didn’t go out for Younes’ goal and VdV has mad match winning skillz. Our 2^nd was a thing of beauty. Great determination to hang on.

Toon- Good performance, silly from Younes (although he has apologised on Twitter so all is forgiven). Joey Barton’s sister is his mum, and lumping balls up to Andy Carroll when facing Daws is rather futile. I have it on good authority that Daws eats pointlesslongball-o’s for breakfast every morning before training, and sh1ts towering headers.

Fulham- Unlucky they woz. We were very fortunate to hang on. A dire game, tired legs on both sides, but winning ugly is what good teams do. We did and we are.

Man of the Xmas- Modric. Our best player in the 2 home games and his pass for Hutton at Villa was just magnificent. Special mentions to Daws and Benny.

Festive highlight- Chelski going MENTAL at their 88^th minute ‘winner’, only to concede a minute later. Those celebrations were priceless.

And so to the big news of the last few days. David Beckham at Tottenham? Let’s begin.

Personally, I think this would be a great bit of business. My thinking is along the lines of Harry, the positive impact of his presence, knowledge of the domestic/European competitions, work rate and his ability to shift t-shirts in the club shop will far outweigh any so-called ‘media circus’. Last time I looked, reporters weren’t allowed to follow him around the pitch during training or during games so I don’t really see any problem. If anything, he’ll be a great focus-puller from the other members of our band of merry men. Let’s not forget his ability either. Fact is, he would probably have started at the World Cup if he’d been fit, and in my opinion, is still the most technically gifted English footballer around.

In terms of things that make me think this might not happen, one likely issue would be the Adidas sponsorship. Just how much of a say they would have over him coming to us with our Puma match day kit/ training kit I don’t know, but I can’t imagine they’d be happy to keep paying a sizeable wedge to see him trotted out in Puma gear. Also, what kind of insurance premium would we/ his sponsors need to take out in order to get him playing in the Premier League against the ‘industrial’ sides he’s likely to face? It was worst case scenario for the septics when he went on loan to AC last year, so I’m not surprised they’re a little reluctant to let him go without some big assurances over his level of match day protection.

Despite what Harry says about using him as an out-and-out winger, if Lennon stays fit, I see Mr Beckham playing Thudd’s role until he’s fit again. In terms of the timings, this would make a lot of sense. Injury update from the horse’s yesterday:

thuddz tom huddlestone

Finally the 'robocop' boot is off, and walking normal!! Hopefully half way there

And a bit later:

thuddz tom huddlestone

Been out 6long weeks, and expecting another 6 so mid to end feb I'm hoping for but can't be specific. Will know in a week or 2

Everton tomorrow night then. Cahill at the Asia Cup so that’s a bit of good news. Pre-match chitter-chatter tomorrow.

Happy New Year you lovely buggers.