What Is The Point In Aston Villa?

Who's in charge today?

A question posed to me once several years back. Like Paul Merson being asked to tie shoelaces, I could only stare back blankly, sans solution. More recent encounters have put paid to that, with them being involved in our famous 125 year celebratory 4-4 draw (the one with our Laughing Cow Light kit), a couple of hard fought draws up in the Midlands, and a few very similar point hauls from our respective campaigns had set us up as rivals. Another of those ‘top 6 but not quite top 4’ teams which we were until last season.

Still bitter at the manner and timing of his departure, the Martin O’Neill-less Villa fans will not want to admit it, but a return to mid-table mediocrity from whence they came, certainly seems to be beckoning. Gerry Ooh-lee-ay has been dragged from his comfy French FA bed and thrust once more into the breach, pyjamas still on under that big coat, questioning what in crikey f**k he’s done. ‘I bloody love English football’ to paraphrase his initial press conference. 2 wins from 11 games and those rouge-tinged bins are slipping like an old girl on an icy day. Red being pertinent in this case, because like the harmless old uncle who always loses at monopoly but smiles contentedly throughout, he was practically giddy, applauding the old faithful no less, when his former protégés at Liverpool helped themselves to 3 points the other week. Sources indicate the Villa fans were in no way happy about this love-in.

To compound the problems facing him, his marquee signing, 37 year old former goon Bob Pires apparently refuses to live in Birmingham, and has hired a driver to take him from London to Brum and back for training every day. Can you imagine *insert current PL manager, doesn’t even have to be a pasty, bad tempered sweatie* allowing this at their club? From the outside, he seems to be doing the job of a well-travelled substitute that used to come in when your teacher was sick or knocked up. Yeah of course you can watch films all day and sniff glue, I’m out of here by the end of the week and will be in no way accountable for any of this. Anyone got a fit Mum?

So what’s in store for our Boxing Day clash this time around? Due to the weather, neither side managed to fit in a dust-up last week, so fresh legs aplenty. Rafa was just about ready for last week so another weeks training will certainly have done no harm, and The Atomic Kaboul is also back in the frame. I can see our ‘arry starting with a 4-5-1, Defoe up top and a Mod-Palacios-VdV central 3. I’ll let you fill in the blanks yourselves.

Prediction? 1-2.

Unexclusive, Stolen, ITK Info

A little bit 'woh', a little bit 'whey'

Just for a change, going to be a bit lazy today. The most interesting thing I’ve read in the last 24hrs came from Spurs Community and ‘ITK’ source ‘brownhead’. Don’t want to be accused of taking hits from any sites, so here is the link: http://bit.ly/hjgI01

…and this is what he said:

‘’Saw my contact today. As previous will not go into lots of details, but he told me:

We are quietly confident of signing one of Dzeko, Llorente, Carroll. These are the ST targets and Levy is trying hard to do this for Arry.

Parker is all in place, but SPAM bad blood could scupper this at any time

Beckham is a possibility, but needs convincing and for Fergie to openly rule out him going on loan to OT.

Piennar has given us his word, personal terms unofficially done apparently! just gotta sort the deal with Toffees but this should not be a problem.

On the out the door/listen to offers list is:

Alnwick
Naughton
Bentley
Kranjcar
O'Hara
GDS
Rose
Pav
Keane

The only extra i was told is if we cannot get striker, then that will influence strikers out, and that Levy wants to sell Jenas, but arry wants to keep.

COYS’’

Interesting stuff, I’m sure you’ll agree.

Dzeko seems a bit pie in the sky to me, and the Middle-East-landers are interested so they’ll offer double what we can, so I’d say that’s a no-go. Llorente could be a goer and would get my vote, but Carroll would seem to be the most likely of the 3.

Going to stick my neck out and say Parker will not happen, and as for Beckham? He’ll be unveiled right after Lord Lucan becomes our new Director of Football.

Pienaar- I believe this one. Whether it’s in Jan or the summer, the lad is WHL bound.

The long list, no surprises, except Pav, but if a big offer came in then it would be hard for Levy to turn down.

Jenas surprises me a little bit, but from Levy’s POV, given his age, it’s probably the last chance we’ll have to sell him on for any sort of decent amount. Harry won’t want to let go until a Pienaar-type is bought in to replace.

More Modders nonsense. Apparently his old pal from Zagreb met with Carlo Wankaloti, who told him Mods was his top target. Abramovich will sack him by the summer anyway, and the only noises I’ve ever heard from the Modric camp have been that he’s very happy with us. Wonder who he’ll be linked with tomorrow?

Great to see Citeh lose last night.

Real Life Swapsies!

Swapsies- Neeeeeeeeeeeed baaaaaaaaaaadly!!!

No match report. No match. Shall we discuss the weather?

On the plus side, far from being rushed back, the likes of VdV and Kaboul can take a bit more time to recover from injury, and Gallas might also be available for the next game so CB looks covered for now at least.

Also, I don’t have to sit here, find all those pic’s of the players at the Xmas beano and blame our failure to pick up 3 points on this. Pools panel says away win. It’s basically the same as an actual 3 points so I’m happy.

The biggest Totters news would appear to be gossip related in the shape of Newcastle’s finest spit-roaster, Andy Carroll, in exchange for Honest Bob, David Brylcream, 3 metre Peter, a pipe of Pringles and a partridge in a pear tree. And money one would assume? Outside of Champo or Panini stickers, when was the last time a player been swapped in recent memory? I remember Keith Gillespie going to Newcastle as part of the Andy Cole to ManUre deal but I’d struggle to recall too many others. The notion of swap deals in football seems almost laughable, but perhaps with money being a bit tighter, asset swaps and makeweights are the way forward? I’d still be surprised if any such deal went through though.

What is agreed by almost everyone connected with the club is that the squad and wage bill need to be trimmed. For my money, the only 2 who definitely need to move on are Honest Bobert Keane and David Bentley. Krankie appears to be out of favour but I still maintain that Harry’s saving him for later in the campaign, when injuries/suspension take their inevitable toll.

Jamie O’Hara is another being touted for a move, a makeweight in a Scott Parker swap deal. Ah, the Scott Parker transfer. Like Stewart Downing before him, another that just won’t go away, no matter haw much cream I use until he finally goes somewhere else or retires. Some things wot Harry said about it today:

"We haven't made any move for him. Midfield is the only area where I don't have many options, we are really short there.

"I like Parker, but he belongs to West Ham. He will be 31 next birthday and they will want £15million.

"Daniel (Levy, chairman) wouldn't buy players of that age, on big wages with no sell-on."

Breaking news to be taken VERY SERIOUSLY!!!- ManUre are preparing a summer bid of 30m (presumably magic beans as opposed to pounds sterling) for Modders (who’s just signed a new 5-year deal)- with Anderson (who’s just signed a new 5-year deal), Carrick (who ManUre bought from us for 18m) and/or Gibson(?) being used as makeweights. God bless pre-transfer window silly season.

Back To The… San Siro

No repeats of the last trip... apart from the good bits

And so it was foretold. The most difficult draw we could have got, and we got it.

                                                 

I’m excited by this, not least because it means we’ll turn up with the 100% right attitude. After the fanfare of qualification, I’m not sure that would have been the case with some of the lesser lights that, of course, ManUre and Cheatski got. As I’ve said from the beginning, we’re not here for the sideshow. Tottenham have been the hottest Champions League ticket in town, bringing a freshness and vibrancy to the usually dull group stages, and I can see us rolling on beyond the other Meelan. For all their riches in attack, their ageing backline will not fancy facing our Dual Fuelers flying in x-wing style into their faces. No fear, no need.

Blackpool for Sunday lunch then. The boy Bale is making the right noises, the usual ‘we won’t take them lightly’ lines trotted out for all to hear. I’m sure the Totters said something about being focused at Bolton as well, but it ended up looking like they’d jumped on a merry-go-round and been pushed onto the pitch, all stumbly and stuff. No repeat of that nonsense please. Blackpool are indeed not to be taken lightly, heard they’ve lost 2 in 8 in the PL. They like to attack and always likely to concede. They should be like a slightly more erratic version of us, but anything less than a very good performance and we could be in trouble.

In the plus column, Rafa and His Royal You-Tube-nes Kaboul are back in the frame. In the ‘boooooo’ column, Jenas is still out (yes, he’s a genuine miss these days, did you get the memo?) as is Billy Gasman . Wilson has also recovered so expect to see him as part of a 5 man midfield with JD up top. Through a lack of other options, that’s what I’d plump for.

Sad news on a big day for the club today, as Totters legend Ralph Coates has passed away aged just 64. I’d love to be able to give you a run down of the number of times I’ve seen him play, but unfortunately I cannot. Different generation. I do however remember him as the stand-out character of ‘The Glory Game’, with tales of his initial transfer from Burnley and settling his family in London, disappointed at not quite making the huge initial impact that he’d had at his former club. As we know, he went on to be a great servant for Tottenham Hotspur, playing 200-odd games and scoring the winning goal in the ’73 league cup final, but it was that very personal tale of family that really stuck with me. Rest In Peace, Ralph.

YouTube Younes and Ledley Celebrates Driving Ban

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey!!!!!

A little round up today. I am slowly embracing the world of Twitter and thought this was worth letting you know about if you don’t ‘follow’:

Younes_Kaboul Younès Kaboul

go checkout my message to spurs fans: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ukRGa4pAwrI

15 hours ago Favorite Retweet Reply

Nothing particularly ground-breakingly revelatory, (apart from the fact that he looks a bit worse for wear) but don’t see any of the other lot doing it, so Thanks Younes, hope you have a great Xmas too. Hurry on back now, you are needed.

In other news, the Daily Fail had some nice pics of our lads out and about, with only Ledley King appearing to embarrass himself.

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey!!!!!

Harry apparently relaxed the ‘no xmas parties’ rule in light of our decent showing so far this season, coincidentally on the same day as Ledley got away with only a 2 month ban and £1k fine after being clocked doing 100-odd mph. It was never going to be pretty.

Elsewhere, you may have heard that the pikey-est soap opera in town continues at apace, with John’s brother, Paul Terry, apparently being held partly responsible for the suicide of tragic Rushden ‘keeper Dale Roberts. Apparently John isn’t the only one who enjoys a fumble with a team mate’s bird. Maybe their mother can shoplift a book on how not to be complete c**ts for Xmas. Not to read, just so their Dad can cut his coke on it. If he’s out of prison? Christ Almighty.

It’s the big CL draw tomorrow. For those of you who don’t remember the possible outcomes, nor do I. But there are far better written and informative blogs out there who will so have at it. Safe to say, we should fear nobody.

I’ll unexclusively be revealing who we get along with some Blackpool build-up tomorrow.

Are Our Totters Being Primed For A Takeover?

One club, careful recent owners...

This is all theoretical of course, but some of you may have noticed that today, we announced the appointment of a certain Mr Kevan Vincent Watts, 59, as a Non-Executive Director of our illustrious club.

You wouldn’t have to do a particularly vast amount of googling BUT 'ERE'S SOME WOT I DID EARLIER to discover that the guy has form in this particular area, overseeing the incorporation of Bank of America into Merrill Lynch’s operations, and spending the past year or so in India looking at new business development. Being a Non-Executive, and with him being ‘retired’, one would assume that he comes in on an advisory basis, rather than having to field any difficult questions at the AGM’s or bring his own milk in for tea breaks.

So what is he here to do? The OS gives a nice summary of his CV, but baulks at stating what his day-to-day role will be in any sort of specific nature. In fact, they seem to be actively warning fans not to ask any more questions by saying:

‘’ There is no further information in connection with the appointment of Mr Watts to the Board of Directors which is required to be disclosed in accordance with Rule 17 and Schedule 2(g) of the AIM Rules for Companies.’’

Hmmmm. Have they said this in regards to any other previous appointments?

It could be argued that the more linear conclusion would be to say he’s being brought in to establish us in the Emerging Markets, but I would say that a full-time job of that size would be far more befitting to someone younger and would be a waste of a man of such experience. Given his background, and his Non-Exec’ role, the consultancy fee’s we’d be paying wouldn’t come near to the bit of extra revenue we’d generate from t-shirt sales and a couple of friendly matches.

My not so wild conclusion then, is that with the club on a secure financial footing, currently playing Champions League football, and every chance of that being the case again next season, Northumberland Development given the green light, Stratford still an option, we are primed for a takeover, and this could be the perfect time for Levy and Co to cash in. Unlike Newcastle, Liverpool etc, there is no way Levy would be silly enough to let any of this into the public domain, so hiring someone already holding a backstage pass and with direct lines to the people that could make this happen would be the smart way. The Levy way.

Watch this space…

Still, At Least All Our Strikers Are Fit!... Anyone?

Expected back in time for Sundays trip

Injuries. It’s like the mid-nineties all over again at Hotters HQ. Anderton, Klinsmann, Popescu…, I’m sure you’ve rattled off all the names yourself, but for my own amusement, let’s make a little list of who’s out at the moment. King, Woody, Gallas, Kaboul, Jenas, Wilson, Krankie, VdV, Thudd… and apparently Bale was seen limping out of WHL on Sunday evening after being on the wrong end of yet another poorly timed tackle from Ghana’s finest. So that’s nice.

We’re facing the real possibility of a Bentley-Lennon-Modric-Sandro midfield for the coach trip to Blackpool, which should be enough, but doesn’t instil a great deal of confidence.

Yes it’s a squad game, yes, every team have their injury problems, but stone me, when you consider the talent we’re having to do without on the run up to Xmas, it makes for some pretty depressing reading. Fingers crossed for ‘slight knocks’ to be shaken off and a few returning to training this week.

In other news, our top stopper, fresh from a less than shining performance, is talking up our title bid, claiming that a few clean sheets are all it will take. I see his point (it’s the way his shorts ruffle), but I can imagine some arseblogger filing all these sound bites away somewhere, ready to fire football pie all over our faces come seasons end. I prefer the ‘quietly confident’ approach myself, especially from a group with a way to go to be seriously considered. If we were, hanging on for 3 points in the last 2 games would have been the best way to show it, but therein lies the big difference my fellow Spursers. Blackpool and Villa coach trips, followed by Newcastle and Fulham at our house will be bigger than big, biggest of all time I reckon. Big, big, big. 12 points please.