Foys Orks 2 Footballers 1

Everyone settled down yet?

In the aftermath of Amir Khan’s defeat in Washington, at the hands of Washington-born Lamont Peterson, one boxing commentator made an excellent point; when you go to fight in somebody else’s back garden, make sure it isn’t close. Go in there and perform so mercilessly there can be no doubt who’s the champion. It could easily have been applied to Tottenham on Sunday.

I don’t accept that they ‘wanted it more’. We generally play controlled, possession football, creating openings by relying on our movement and ability. They played as if they’d each downed a 6-pack of red bull and got told that the lads dressed in purple had cussed their Mums.

The first half hour set the tone for the whole game… in fact, scrap that, the first minute set the tone, with them muscling their way through our shell-shocked back line and forcing Brad into an early save. ‘’But Mister Harry, I thought we were playing the English National Ballet select XI’’. Expecting something and dealing with it are completely different, but lads we thought would stand no nonsense- Parker and Kaboul to name but 2- were brushed aside like a bunch of Crouchey’s, or wacky waving arm-flailing inflatable tube men.

But the ref was to blame! Criiiiiiinge. Foy and his team had an absolute stinker, but when you’ve got a guy with an itchy trigger finger and an overwhelming desire to be ‘the man’, and you’ve already been booked, and your man is running nowhere, just stand him up. It’s pretty simple.

Anyway, I’ve sort of missed the boat on all the post-match stuff, so I’ll leave it there.

I’m getting married on Friday, so this will be the last you hear from your intrepid blogger as a single chap. Sunderland preview and report, I’ll leave to the many other fine wordsmiths out there, but suffice to say, their slice of luck and our somewhat unfortunate sequence of events from Sunday should see the universe realign itself ready for the dust up with Chavski.

Return of the Crouch

Hello etcetera.

A few ground-breaking headlines to come out of Spurs this week. Apparently someone is going to ‘earn his Spurs’ Like, when you earn *actual* spurs for your achievements in combat, but we’re called Spurs so it’s a really clever and highly original use of ‘spurs’. There have been other things that have Spur’d us on. How do they come up with this stuff?

Stoke away conjures up pictures, as opposed to full on game recollections. Have we ever played particularly well or badly up there? Is the Wallpaper (Britannia, I’m being told) Stadium just one of those places where everyone says exists, but it’s all a big lie? Like the lost City of Atlantis, or South London? Eidur getting the winner in the game that, pour moi, confirmed us as a Champions League team. More recently, that lush volley from the lad Garth and his surprised (slash) ‘did you see that?’ face. Still further back in time, before both of those, Gomes doing his ‘boo boo’ routine. I believe there was also an ambulance present? I’m struggling with much else.

But wallpaper, while being largely easy to ignore, can be really annoying and stubborn to shift when you’re forced to face it head on, which is exactly what we can expect from the stripy chaps on Sunday. Among their number are former Tottering favourites Woody, Wilson and Crouchy… well, maybe not Crouchy, but the other 2 always enjoyed a largely affectionate place in our lilywhite hearts. They still do, although largely because we probably know we’ve seen the best of them, and are unlikely to do us much harm. Peter, on the other hand, who had a scoring record of around 1 goal every calendar, will be greeted with far greater caution. A penny for every one of us who says: ‘you just know he’s going to score’.

Ledley’s ‘banged’ his knee, while Defoe and Bale have wonkys that sound as if they’ll be easily shaken off. Ledley’s absence is a worry but if Gallas can find some of the form of last year, we should have too much for them.

7 wins on the spin? We’re already record breakers with 6, perhaps the promise of a 7^th will ‘spur’ us on even further. Hahahahahaha. Classic me.