Ticket Travesty And Other Spurs News

A week tinged with disappointment on Spursonal note, as I and 4 pals missed out spectacularly on a ticket for the glamour tie at the Bernebau, having already bought our flights. Our optimism was based on the clubs woefully misjudged invite for those with 250 or more loyalty points to apply, so when 551 points (now lowered to 530 following the release of a further 227 tickets) was eventually revealed as the magic number, there were many who’d been caught short. While I understand that the club couldn’t afford to mess about due to time constraints, I do wonder where they plucked 250 from. I’ve since learnt that for the first trip to the San Siro, the bar was set at 380 points. On the return in the last 16, levels were set at 283 as, presumably, everyone thought once was enough. Based upon this, how the ruddy funk did they pluck 250 out of the air? They are privy to a loyalty point database unlike us fans, so as a supposedly responsible organisation, it’s their task to manage expectation among the masses. I mean, for goodness sake, this is a quarter final at Real Madrid. Did they not envisage a rather large interest? The spectacular nature of the underestimation, underlined by the fact that had I had DOUBLE the minimum application level, I’d have still been left high and dry, is the most galling aspect of it. That and having forked out for flights I’m in 2 minds over using. Connecting flight to Madrid has been sacked off but the return trip to Barcelona to watch Tottenham on a Catalan telly is still on the cards. I know.

Moving on, and faced with the prospect of an international game to build up to, I think it’s best we go 180 and have a look at Tottenham-related stuff from the week that was.

Paul Gascoigne is teaming up with legendary Spurs goal-grabber Jimmy Greaves to put on a show involving the 2 of them chatting back and forth about their days in the game and fielding a few questions from audience members. Greavsie of course is well versed in these kinds of productions, having done several similar tours with Ian ‘Saint’ St John and various others, but the involvement of Gazza will surely introduce the format to a new generation of nostalgia hunters. Apparently it’s all part of Gazza’s on going rehab; presumably talking about his crazy drinking stories in public is designed to allow him his own form of catharsis. Gazza said: “It will ­definitely be entertaining. I’ll give them some stories about some of the mad things I’ve done.” I can only imagine. Let’s hope it doesn’t turn into a nightly public meltdown from the man.

Harry has slapped (or not?) a 1 BILLION pound price tag on Luka, just to underline the fact that he is not for sale at any price. Not quite sure what forced him into a comment that linked Luka Modric and money, probably some rag telling us he was wanted by Barca/Real/Manure/Chelski. Either that or the press were looking elsewhere for a story and Harry felt obliged to talk about transfers, followed by an insistence that he doesn’t want to talk about transfers. Plausible.

Huddlestone’s recovery continues at a pace, with Harry saying that he’d been sorely missed and that it was great to have him around the gaff again. If that endorsement wasn’t ringing enough for you, young wordsmith @Ryan_Mason13 tweeted ‘decent session today in the sunshine… Huddz is looking sharp to all u spurs followers!’. Lovely stuff.

I suppose we couldn’t ignore the International stuff entirely. Bale injured. Again. One of the Welsh backroom chaps called/didn’t call our physio’s a bunch of amateurs and said that he was broken upon delivery. Warehouse foreman Harry Redtop insisted that the goods were checked and double-checked before dispatch and that as the Welsh signed for him, they assume full responsibility for the breakage. It’s only a wonky hammy so he’s been sent back to the sorting office, where he should be duly sorted in time for our trip to Wigan next week. Probably for the best.

Keep Reading, There Are Some Positives Eventually

I’ve never been to a game where a fixture 2 weeks hence, has dominated talk over the task in hand. ‘Defoe and Bale in for Crouch and Peanut. Only changes from Milan’ I half-heartedly announced to the chaps on the steps of ‘The Olive’. ‘Oh right’. They couldn’t have possibly cared less. It wasn’t their fault, I’d tried to turn the conversation away from our flight plans to Madrid and keeping our collective fingers crossed that we all had enough loyalty points for a ticket to the game. West Ham was the reality. We were keeping it Real.

Familiar reality bit hard once we were in the ground however; a typically positive start, a few chances created, and several narrow misses was followed by 80% possession and 11 men behind the ball from another, putting it politely, limited pack of strays. Haven’t I seen this one before? Doesn’t it just flicker out to an annoying draw? Well, yes. By the hour mark, I’d gone through positive, tense, frustrated and was now fully annoyed. This game and the final half hour in particular was just very, very annoying. With every poor touch, sloppy pass and Defoe miss, think bubbles began to appear over the head of the ever-brilliant Modders; ‘how long was that contract again?’. It’s this kind of performance, at home, that makes me question whether we’re consistently cut out for these top-level European adventures where we’ve had so much fun and soaked up the razzmatazz for everything it’s worth. Like I said in the build-up, it’s for the fans to get excited about Madrid, the players need to sort themselves out to make sure we’re there again next year. Oh, and Liverpool are within 4 points of us now, which is nice.

Sodding International break where we can only hope Bale doesn’t get broken by a danger from within, and somehow recaptures his pre-Christmas swagger. Another gutsy but effectively brainless shift from our Welsh flyer, not helped by the no-so-clever order to switch with Lennon. Has this ever worked? It has all the hall marks of attempting to lasoo a passing sparrow for salvation while we sink further into the brown stuff, and better ideas are needed lest we end up with the tactical rigidity of a Pokemon. ‘One of those games’, Harry uttered for the umpteenth time this season. Title contenders can have one or two of these chief. We’ve just had 3 in a row.

Genuinely don’t have the energy to sit and write about how frustrating it is to watch Defoe bumble around up front at the moment. The far from perfect Pavlova looked more threatening in the short time he was on the pitch than Defoe and the seemingly perma-crocked Rafa combined, who put in a performance that made you think that 8 million was a bit steep. If Modric gets injured, a season so nicely poised could end up simply being poisoned.

Moaning over and attempting to draw some positives from the weekends play, at least chelski done us a favour by beating citeh. As nice as it was to fantasize about that awful, awful football team falling out of the Champions League places, it was only a matter of time before they got their shizz together, and left the battle for 4^th once more for ourselves and citeh to fight out. In that respect, we’ve gained a point. It also means that if we win our game in hand and beat citeh at their gaff, then 4^th is ours. The power, to quote that show with the life-saving water bucket dangled in front of the asphyxiating trout, is in our hands.

IT’S REALLY REAL!!! (and a game against West Ham tomorrow)

After putting up a rubbish façade of coolness, I’d even fooled myself into believing it’s not possible for a grown man to cheer a cup draw. However, at the sight of Real Madrid v Tottenham Hotspur appearing under Gary’s beautiful little face, I regressed and cheered like a small boy being taken to Disney World (or somewhere, you know, better).

It wasn’t Barca, but you know what, I’m not disappointed. This competition has been glitz and glamour all the way for us, and you don’t get much more glitzy and glamorous than a trip to 9 time champions Real Madrid. Often brilliant, but beatable. Match winners all over the pitch. I’m talking about us both.

Giving it the barry, I say I’m already looking at the Barca semi-final. Trying to put on a neutral hat, it’ll be a great tie. If we can be ‘ACMilanawayish’ in the first leg and be better than we were at home in the second, where we’ll almost certainly need to score, I really don’t see why we can’t go on to play Barca. The fact that the second leg is at home is huge. I’ll be putting my ticket application in for this one and I’ll let you know how I get on.

Aaaaaaaaand, back in the room. Sorry to poop the party, but let us not forget that if we want to have another crack at going through all that again next year, we’d jolly well better start winning some of these bothersome league fixtures, starting with West Ham at home.

The away trip was all sorts of bleugh for our chaps. I remember Benny picking up some sort of bed hair trauma and being unable to play, so Bale was moved to left-back. All stories that start this way usually end up being rubbish. And so it was that one of their lot (Cole?) scored an unmemorable bundler of a goal to win the thing. I’d like to say we spent the rest of the game laying siege to their goal, but I can’t because I didn’t see it and couldn’t face reading about a performance so abject, we gave the caravan club their first 3 points of the season. A bad day at the office was all it turned out to be though, as 4 days later we beat Tchventay 4-1 at home in the UCL and the memory was largely buried (it was Piquionne that scored, just saw when looking for that next game stat- ever the professional).

After looking Championship bound for most of the season, the Olympic Bubblers have claimed 7 points from 9 in the Prem’ with convincing home wins over Stoke and Liverpool. Their 1 came away at West Brom when they were 3 down and, in true Tottenham style, pulled it back for a point, so ‘spirit’ and ‘fight’ might be words you’d use when looking at that little run. They won’t be the easy proposition they might have been a couple of months back. Having subsequently been beaten by Stoke in an actual cup last weekend, their annual trip to our gaff has ‘cup final’ billing for them once more, and my big hope is that our players haven’t gone too loopy over this mornings draw. That’s our job, you lot win games of footers please.

Willy make it? Reports of a month out for Gallas and his hammy were calmed by the club site after saying he might even be fit for tomorrow. Same back 5 as Milan then. Elsewhere, I can see a Bale-Jenas-Mods-Lennon with a Pav-Defoe up front. Rafa to rest his calf. Mind you, I’ve had a stinker in predicting Harry’s line ups so expect it to be anything but that. I’d be tempted to get Sandro on to look after Parker and let Defoe do the running around up front on his own. He likes a goal against the Spammers.

Prediction? 2-0.

Anyone But the English

Told you I’d use it.

As the Tottclock counts down to the big draw in whatever bastion of garish lighting UEFA have chosen for the over-egged spectacle cake, we’re now privy to the full guest list for the Champions League all-the-way-to-the-final draw.

Based purely on teams I think we’ll have a chance of beating, here’s my 1-7 in order of preference: Schalke, Shaktar, Inter, Chelski, Real, Manure, Barca.

BUT. Being a Tottenham fan and genetically predisposed to looking for the glory in the game, as well as the mental fragility of our lot in games we’re expected to win, here’s my list, in order of who I want:

That’s it. I want to watch us play this Barcelona team, considered by many to be the best club side EVER, and will be an unbearably petulant baby if we don’t get them. Think Wenger letting a 2 goal lead at home slip, but less funny.

My thinking is that, and I’m not saying we won’t, but we MAY NOT finish 4^th this season, and of the 8 teams left in the draw, we can probably consider ourselves in the top 2 of teams the others would prefer to face. This could be our last chance in at least a couple of years for a truly massive tie, so I say bring ‘em on. While I perhaps wouldn’t have hand picked AC Milan in the last 16, I was delighted when we did draw them, as our game seemed a good fit in terms of set-up. It also ensured that even if we were to fall short, there’d be no lack of focus or effort against a giant of the European game. I’d fear for the mindset of our squadron more than anything if we were to draw SchalShak than if we were to face one of the Spanish contingent.

The bigger, the better seems to be our mantra. One-off  super performances against the big teams are our specialty. Being professional in games we’re expected to win, less so.

Either way, I can’t wait. Anyone but the English… or Inter. Familiarity, contempt, etc.

Half Century Round up

*Tips bat to the one man and dog gazing on in muted apathy*

That’s right, 50^th post, the half century. Thanks to those who’ve posted comments (Jimmy, mostly) so far and got involved over twitter, they make the company time I use to write this guff all the more justifiable.

Yet another Spurless weekend for us all to endure, but fear not, qualification to the quarters of the UCL means that from here on in, it’ll be Tottenham 3 times a week until the end of the season! What? International break? Oh f… Having had only one league fixture in March, Saturdays game against the Spammers at home represents the 2^nd and last of March’s domestic fixtures. An apology if this has been done elsewhere but even if it’s just for my own clarity, this is what April will look like:

2^nd April- Wigan (A)

5/6^th April- UCL QF 1^st leg

9^th April- Stoke (H)

12/13^th April- UCL QF 2^nd leg

17^th April- Man City (A)- Will have to be moved because of their FA Cup semi-final.

20^th April- Arse (H)

23^rd April- West Brom (H)

26/27^th April- UCL SF 1^st leg

30^th April- Chelski (A)

Yes, yes, perhaps the semi-final 1^st leg might never happen, but even without it, that’s a pretty busy month. Minimum of 4 home games means I’m going to be rather unpopular in the homestead as well, which is nice. What else does it mean? A lot of games really, and essential to get a few more bodies fit and ready in the mean time for what will be a tough final 6-8 weeks of the season. Word on the street (internet street) is that Thudd might be back in time for the QF 1st leg.

Here are some other things that might or might not be happening:

Champions League QF draw on Friday where we should find out we’re playing Barcelona at about 11:45. Them or Real would be my choice. Would have serious worries at the English ones, Shaktar or Bayern.

Defoe to City. Rubbish. They’re going to throw in Bellamy? Part-recycled rubbish. Honestly, who comes up with this ship?

Jens Lehmann returning to the goners (as I shall be referring to them for as long as we’re in Europe and they’re not) as cover for his old BFF Aluminium- A team that needs to baton down the hatches, re-group and re-focus if their season is to avoid being a complete disaster, perhaps the return of a semi-retired, psychologically questionable, superiority complexed half-wit, prone to Hulk-rage is possibly the best news we could hope for. Let’s pray this happens.

Dog Terry reinstated as England captain. If the question was: ‘What one measure would you need to take to lump further shame on our already tarnished reputation and alienate further a disillusioned England watching public?’, then this is the perfect answer. Spot on.

Crouchie and Abbey have had a baby girl. Aaaaaaaaaaah. The cuddly toy of this cynical news conveyor belt, not a dig about that questionable incident in Spain in sight. Not one. Although timing wise, I can imagine poor Abbey holding the test in one hand and copy of the Daily Star in the other.

I was tempted to look on newsnow for a bit more but caught a glimpse of a Huntelaar story and almost spontaniously combused and began bleeding from my ears. That’s yer lot.

Tottenham v AC Milan- Pictures, Videos, Words. The Lot.

Something a bit different today. In honour of us playing AC Milan at home, I thought I’d get a few pictures (I brought my point-and-shoot especially!) and videos (sorry, just the phone on this one) from the walk to White Hart Lane, to the warm ups, to the game action, to the final whistle and beyond. You know, for posterity. Anyway, here are some bits I found camera-worthy.

The pre-game Saveloy and chips, courtesy of the artisans at the Decorata Fish Bar, Willoughby Lane, Tottenham

A pre-game refreshment break at the wonderful Olive Branch on Park Lane

Oh my darlin', you look wonderful, tonight

                                           The 2 teams run through their pre-match warm ups.

AC Milan players warm-up. Even that was half-arsed. At this point, the great GARY MABBUTT! walked past me on his way to the members area. He started walking up the wrong flight of steps, realised his mistake, came back down and walked up the correct set. Quick as a flash, I remarked 'Bet that's the first time you've ever been caught the wrong side, Gary!' I didn't really. Unfortunately this witty rhetort only came to me about 3 seconds afterwards. Always the way, innit? Would have been great though. He'd have instantly declared me his best friend and we'd have gone on holiday together.

Spurs lads playing keep ball. Lesson learnt on watching this: If you've got Modric on your team, you win. At life. Forever.

                                        

The 2 teams walk out with the Champions League football flag-thing going all flappy and the music is playing. Lovely.

I get about, don't I? Too good a pic to not include. Possibly the defining moment of a tense game. I'm sitting up there somewhere.

                My view of Rafa's free kick that hit the top of the net. Oooooooooooooooooh!

Another amazing shot from my camera. Here we see the mighty Sandro with the whole AC Milan midfield and front line in his pocket... It wasn't REALLY taken on my camera you silly's. Courtesy of @mattcg on twitter and make sure you visit his blog http://spursdrawings.posterous.com/ for more Spurs inspired genius.

This is the best video of the lot. It's the last 30 seconds or so of the game when the crowd are singing 'Spurs are on their way to Wembley'. Whistle goes and the crowd goes wild, but keep watching 'til the end for a FANTASTIC 'Are you watching are-se-nal'.



So there we have it. Perhaps not the glory, glory night many, including myself, had been anticipating, but yet another example of how this team isn’t just about the pace of Bale and all the attacking intent that comes along with it. We rode our luck at times, most notably when Gomes had a rush of blood to the head and we needed a goal line clearance from the excellent Gallas to bail us out, but overall, we showed class and grit in equal measure, and only the most blinkered of AC Milan (or goners (not a typo)) could argue that we weren’t the better team over both legs.

Player ratings? Like the first leg, individuals are hard to single out in the team performance we’ve witnessed in both games, but Sandro was excellent again and embodied our spirit over the tie. Gallas and Dawson were both rock solid, and Lennon was a tireless outlet for much of the game and deserves a lot of credit. Also thought Peanut had a good game.

Bit disappointed in Milan in the end. As the clock struck 70, there was a palpable sense that the whole crowd expected an onslaught of epic proportions. It never came. Belief, pace, ideas were all lacking on the night, and the European giant went out with the meekest of whimpers. The bang was all ours.

Many will say that we faced a poor Milan side, but let’s not play down the achievement of beating the 7-time winners. The last word has to go to Harry on this one, after another tactical masterclass. Perfect:

‘’We were playing AC Milan here, not Raggy Arsed Rovers’’

Not Simple as ABC: Milan

**

AC Milan. Champions League. We basked in glory and improbability at the very notion of it last time out. Our club, dining with European royalty; silver polished, collars starched, hair immaculately coiffured and moving elegantly to the feast when the dinner bell rang out. Over the 90 minutes, we all marvelled at what the North London gentry offered up; our often domestically dizzy, gung-ho and sometimes brilliant collective maintained a most un-Tottenham like reserve and defensive discipline to pull off a performance and result, the likes of which will live long in the memory and surely provide a benchmark for all future away nights in Europe. Tottenham Hotspur, so far the idiot-savants of this years competition, took to their biggest stage yet and produced an equally, if not more note-worthy performance, than the one which was witnessed on THAT famous European night at home. This was no one man show. This was a team going to the home of a European behemoth armed with belief and spirit, heels dug in; bite, fight and technique everywhere you looked. And we won.

I somewhat bullishly, stated that if both teams turned up to White Hart Lane with the same focus and work rate, there would be only one winner, and that winner would triumph comfortably. I’ll shatter the subterfuge, I was talking about us. On the morning of the game however, notes of caution find themselves winging their way to my oft’ sloppy thinkbox, so let’s safely assume that there is no way Milan will be as lacklustre in our house as they were in theirs. They suffered some stinging criticism from their own fans and press after we ourselves put on an away performance you might have seen from Italy’s finest back in the day, and will be itching to flex their tactical muscles to avoid yet another defeat to English opposition, having been beaten convincingly by the arse and manure in the recent past, and not forgetting of course, that game where Liverpool were rubbish for ages but beat them on penalties.

I find myself reminded of Sevilla in the UEFA Cup a few years back. After being narrowly and unconvincingly beaten away, we were all confident we’d get the job done at home. On the night, we went a goal down within 5 minutes and never recovered, the Ramos led Sevillains had well and truly stolen the rice from our paella, and we were taught a valuable lesson by vastly superior technicians in the ways of European football. It certainly had an effect on me, anyway. It is this lesson I carry with me into every European game against any side- always thinking that they know something we don’t, always worried that we’ll get too Jol-ey and try to ‘English’ them to death, while they pass and move around our head-spun Neanderthals to victory without breaking sweat. Thankfully, the technical competence and European know-how of the players who’ll be taking to the pitch tonight are incomparable to the troops we sent out that evening, but my scars remain. The first 10 minutes will be crucial, the first half even more so. If we can get to half time with our lead still in tact, we’ll have a great chance.

Personnel wise, Milan will struggle in the middle without grass-botherer and all round exponent of the Scottish language, Gennaro Gattuso to add bite (and how we all would have loved to have seen him out there!), so pantomime villain status will be generously afforded to Flamini. A heady mix of being an ex-goon, and an assassination attempt on our only competent right-back in Italy places him firmly in the crowds cross hairs, so let’s hope the attention is the breaking rather than the making of the little stoat-faced bar steward. It was Gattuso himself who got the winner away at Juventus on Saturday (0-1. Hmmm), where former WHL favourite KPB was making a return to the first team, only to suffer an ankle injury and rob him of an ominous return. These are players on which Ibra, Pato and Robinho rely to do a lot of their work, so they will find themselves in the unfamiliar position of having to run about a bit. Welcome to the centre forwards ‘just run about a bit’ spiritual home then gentlemen, if you’ve got a midfield to bail you out, it should be enough. I don’t think they have.

Bale’s back! Well, Harry's making noise about him being a bit stiff (ooh-er) or something so you can bet your bottom dollar he'll start. Whether you see him as our saviour on which the result will hang (I don’t), or whether his return rocks the apple cart, bearing in mind the heroic Bale-less display in Italy, you can’t argue that having him on the green stuff certainly boosts our attacking options and will put the fear of God into any defender. Good tactical piece on the BBC website yesterday (probably still there today ‘n’ all), discussing the implications of the Bale-Lennon 20 minute wing-switch experiment at Wolves on Sunday. Does Harry see Nesta and Yepes as the weaker links and an easier route through for the cut-ins, rather than our flyers getting in the faces of the 2 full-backs? Or is it just a double-bluff and they’ll both start on their favoured wings? It’s a bigger headache for them than having Steven Peanut to worry about, that’s for darn certain.

As great as Peter’s been in this years competition, and as much as I’m not his biggest fan, perhaps starting Defoe would be a better option tonight. His mobility early on should give them more headaches, and if Harry’s going to go with a Lennon-Jenas-VdV-Mods-Bale midfield, which I suspect he will, then a 20 minute cameo from the big man towards the end for set pieces and holding the ball up, might just be the way to go. If Alan Hutton starts over the fit-again Charlie, everyone bring custard pies. I’m not having him win the clown-off without a bit of competition.

Interesting. The Italians need to attack away, and we need to be cautious at home. Keep it tight early, be patient and get in decent positions to retain possession. We can most definitely do this if we’re clever about it. I fancy a 2-1 win on the night and a trip to Barcelona.

**Picture by Matthew Craig-Greene. Follow him on twitter @mattcg, or visit his blog for plenty more Spurs related artistry http://spursdrawings.posterous.com/

All The Fun Of The Fair

Not happy...

As someone said on twitter (can’t remember who): ‘Both teams disappointed with a point, which means it was probably a fair result’.

Fair enough. Unfortunately, we’re at the point in the season when fair isn’t enough, and given City’s unfair and unconvincing win over Wigan, it made our inability to hang on all the more frustrating.

Having my child’s party to oversee, I only managed to watch the last 25 minutes uninterrupted and haven’t seen any of the replayed action, so am unable to pass comment on Defoe’s goals, or Hutton’s lucky escape at only a yellow card. Flicked it on and we were 1-0 down. Came back 20 (ish) minutes later and it was 2-2. Without looking, I already knew we’d taken the lead and let it slip, because I’ve watched a lot of Tottenham in my life. I did manage to flick back to catch Pav’s awesome finish, and was fully engaged at the point at which their ‘goal’ was disallowed (quite rightly, IMO) and to see their late equaliser loop over Gomes into the score bag. ‘Agonising’ would perhaps be an over-statement, but certainly head-shakingly unimpressed at seeing us drop points so late in the day would be… fair. It’s the first points we’ve dropped from 82 minutes onwards all season, so the shouts of ‘bottle-jobs’ may be a tad harsh on a squad that has shown a lot of resilience this past calendar year.

So yeah, 11 days since Blackpool, a trip to Dubai, 1 point, 13 days until the spammers at home, 2 league games in the whole of March, 6 in April, plus however many more extras if we get to the quarters/semi’s in the Champo League. My foot hurts. Suarez would have been great at Spurs. Chelsea will destroy Blackpool tonight. All problems with no resolution.

Strange team selection from Harry, whose intentions seem clear. Whether he see’s winning the whole Champions League shebang as being an easier route into next years competition than finishing in the top 4 is unclear, but there is no doubt that he is going all out to save our soldiers for the European battle, to the dismay of several. He did it against Sunderland, but we won so any voices of discontent were hushed, and Harry bought himself another free pass. It looked like working again for 87 minutes yesterday, but it didn’t, so he deserves his share of the blame for resting Lennon and saving Bale until late in the day. Sandro looked good from the bits I did see, and seeing young Gareth haring down the wing, albeit the right one, should give us all a lot of encouragement for the final CL and PL pushes.

This is all getting a bit rambley now, so I’ll stop here. Milan on Wednesday. Twaaaaaaaaaaah.

Black and Gold- Wolves Etcetera

My gosh that was a long ol’ week. The Spurs have been in Dubai, playground of the rich and ‘The Only Way Is Essex’ try-hards (the new Malaga), and for those of you following him, Jermaine Jenas has been treating us to pictures of himself on camels and playing floodlight golf. Like I say, it’s been a long week.

Harry saw a camera and began batting eyelids at the Dubaian (made up word) media, saying he was offered a job there in the summer, which was apparently given serious consideration. Oh Harry, you big flirt you. Other excitement came from hearing that Chigwell’s own Casanova, Jermain Defoe had his ankle blapsed in a training session, only for the rumour to be instantly wafted away like some buzzing news ladybird, to the disappointment of several. Never mind, there’s always a chance he’ll fall over outside Faces tonight.

Wolverhampton. The scene of the heinous crime of being desperately rubbish during our tough run in last year, causing Harry to declare it the worst performance of his reign to date, and the fans to announce, not for the first time, that we’d officially blown our chance of 4^th place. Coming off the back of a disappointing result at Blackpool, where several fans made the same declaration, a similar performance for this years visit to the Black Country (not racist, that’s what they call it… and I don’t mean ‘they’ as in… oh forget it) may well have the masses in meltdown and begin to add credence to the assertion that we’re not quite ready to regain 4^th. Worryingly, the players are already passing comment on the visit of AC Milan next Wednesday, while the fans furrow brows and feverishly roll their hands, mumbling that the Wolves are ready to attack first, sentiments which this blogger echo’s. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves chaps. I’m looking forward to AC as well, but the less glamorous and equally (more?) important task of Wolves on Sunday has to be negotiated, and none of this resting players rubbish, we need our best possible team out and let Wednesdays line-up take care of itself. That being said, Harry is all about the CV, so expect to see a workmanlike midfield, plus Krankie, with Pav and Defoe up top while Peter’s saved for midweek. Not a clue on the defence. I’m going Benny at LB but other than that, I’ve lost track of who’s hot and who’s not.

The Old Gold (definitely not orange) men have something equating to form when playing the likes of us at home, dispatching chelski, manure and Liverpool with aplomb, and the Jamie O’Hara-inspired troops managed to do what we didn’t last week by putting away their chances against Blackpool for a routine victory. James is of course unable to play as part of our loan agreement, so let’s hope they lose a bit of cohesion without the new Steven Gerrard. Not my words, the words of some dilbert at the guardian who blew his load over his performance last week.

Predictions? I’m sure we’ll hear a raft of quotes in the lead up to the game about how we now need to focus on Wolves and ignore Milan. We’ll do the exact opposite of course and conspire to be cringey. Let’s hope the luck that abandoned us at Blackpool returns by the bucket load for a 1-2 win.