Jam Tarts and Goal Nets. Let The Games Begin.

Awake from your slumber fellow Totters, for the new season is upon us.

It wasn’t my intention to be so quiet over the summer, but when the only pulse quickeners are the signing of a goalkeeper with more miles on the clock than my old Mum’s Fiesta, an injury to Sandro, and an ad inifinitum ‘saga’ involving last years Player of the Season, it’s not hard to see where the initial optimism of a clear out and overhaul of the front line went… and then there was the postponement of battle for a further 9 days; our domestic campaign now beginning at our least favourite Premierland hunting ground. Good grief.

Like a CarpetRight in Tottenham High Road, the dust that has enshrouded the squad and it’s potential fire-sale has begun to settle. Who’ll be standing, and who will have fallen when Tottenham’s transfer watch (GMT +20 (ish) minutes) ticks over into the no-buy zone? Stories linking us to the likes of Eto’o, Rossi, Hulk, Falcao and other sticker book shine-ey’s have begun to fall away, replaced with far more likely lads. The fixer-uppers. Players who’ve lost their way a bit and are in need of a loving home. Diarra would be an excellent piece of business, as Adebayor would be just the ticket. Samba? I’m tempted to say that 10m of investment in an area that looks pretty strong might be a misallocation of reportedly scarce resources. Then I remember we’ve got the not-so reliable fitness of Ledley and Billy G as back up to Daws and Kaboul. Then I have flash backs of Bassong up at Blackpool last term. Then I realise that this is an area in need of attention. Big Chris would do for me.

Having seen the line-ups from some of our pre-season games, I’m sure I wasn’t the only one who felt the face-numbing disappointment that the sight of ‘Jenas 8’ and ‘Keane 10’ seem to inspire, but it would appear that some of our orange cutters and pot boys might finally be freeing up some of those valuable squad places. Keane going anywhere except the Lodge for his daily ‘three s’s’ and rub down is a blessing. All the better that it’s to the Galaxy, far, far away, where we can all hope to see and hear from him as little as possible. Unfortunately, Jenas will probably have to be carried out of there.

Giovanni Dos Santos has removed his novelty ‘My Drinking Team Have A Football Problem’ t-shirt for long enough to get TWO real life football teams bidding for his services. Udinese are offering more money, but Sevilla are his preferred choice. I’m quite sure a compromise will be reached for the sanity of all involved.

Despite being left outside the local charity shop, Alan Hutton still managed to find his way back to the club, and would even appear to have got himself a white shirt with a number on it. Alex McLeish is Scottish and the manager of an average football club. Alan Hutton is Scottish and when his brain flickers into life, he can do a good impression of an average defender. Let’s hope this isn’t just lazy journalism and that there is lots of truth in this one.

In a development involving actual football, we’ve got ourselves what appears to be a competitive fixture on Thursday night in the shape of Scottish ‘best of the rest’ Heart of Midlothian. Initially describing the Ropey Cup as a ‘killer’, there couldn’t have been a much kinder draw for Harry to be contemplating, what with them being about as local as you could hope for from an open European draw, and also being. You know. Not very good. My feeling is that we’ll view this fixture as a glorified pre-season friendly. My fear is that they won’t. Our precious lambs could be on the end of some pretty industrial treatment.

More intriguing from the point of view of the Modric situation will be whether he gets any game time. Am I right in thinking that if he represents us on Thursday night, that he’ll be unable to represent any other side in European competition for the rest of the season? Keep your eyes peeled for any ‘thigh strains’ in the next couple of days.

As far as a season prediction goes, a lot will depend on the business we’re able to conduct in the next couple of weeks, but if we can keep the big guns, get the players we’re (realistically) linked to, then I see no reason that we can’t reach those heady heights of the top 4 and start pissing with the big boys once more.

Hold on tight and try to enjoy the ride. Welcome back Tottenham.