Tottenham v Chelsea. It’s A Big’un.



AVB patrols the touchline


Greetings everybody, my first post as a married Gent. Things are going to change around here and make no mistake. Out go hastily compiled match reports and ill-informed opinion, and in come reason, logic, and a more rounded and mature outlook on, not just Tottenham Hotspur, but life itself.

*farts*

And what better way to kick off this brave new era than with a look ahead to what’s probably our biggest game of the season so far, against the unwashed of North Fulham. Having been lording it up in a country manner at the time, reports suggest that Sundays narrow victory against slumberland was very much a case of ‘job done’, but we might need a bit more tonight to keep our band wagon rolling.

Bale, King and Adebayor have all been declared ‘maybe baby’ by our Harold, which suggests to those fluent in ‘arry’ that all 3 will make it, while Sandro looks set to continue. A back 4, Captain Combover, Sandro and Mods sitting/tucking back in, when the full backs bomb on, with Bale and VdV buzzing around behind Ade is where best guess lies.

As for the opposition, lumbering, serial adulterer and Combat18 leader (slash) part time footballer Jonathan Terrance, having been spared a night in the cells, is free to Captain his deeply unpleasant charges, and provide us all with pantomime-levels of villainy. And what are games as these without a little theatre? As for the rest of them, Mata and Sturridge aside, they’ve been a collage of unremarkable grey, and I’m still not convinced the YTS management trainee they’ve got directing the blue traffic in his ‘crouching touchline, startled badger’ pose, knows entirely what he’s doing. Mind you, there’s a certain level of sympathy in having to deal with matters like the one he finds his Captain in, as well as the confused head-scratching of rotund ‘legend’ Frankincense. You’re slowing up in a game that’s getting quicker. Simpler than a 2 piece jigsaw puzzle, chief.

It says something that, Manchester clubs aside, we go into all fixtures now with a heavy expectation of victory, and tonight is no different. This lot are not that special: let’s not forget that without Stoke-levels of officiating at their place last season, we’d have won there as well, without a striker, and tonight presents another opportunity to underline our claim to be the capitals Christmas Kings. Sturridge and Mata’s shackling will be key, but in King, Parker and Sandro, we’ll have more than enough to cope.

If we’re truly going to take the next step as a club, we need to beat our rivals at the top, particularly at home, and make it a bit convincing while we’re at it. We seem to have grasped the concept of beating teams we should be, but a top of the table ‘six-pointer’ against an experienced bunch will give us a huge indicator of what the rest of this season has in store. It’s a big one. 3-1 Spurs.