I’d Love ‘im At Spurs: The Adventures of Super Mario

In light of this marvellous little tale today from the BBC’s website of Manchester City’s undefinable Mario Balotelli turning up at a Manchester College to spend a penny, I received an email yesterday that chronicled some of the other things he’s been up to over his short, yet eventful career.

Mourinho couldn’t deal with his antics, and even ‘father figure’ Roberto Mancini often looks more incandescent than impressed at his enfant terrible. Like many a fan, when he first turned up, I thought he summed up everything that was wrong with the modern day Premier League player; Brash, arrogant, passionless and ambivalent towards any sort of team ethic. However, the more stories I read, like the one about him swapping back to his old Italy shirt at half time because he didn’t like the new one (a personal favourite), the more I’m beginning to begrudgingly admire the lad, and far from perpetuating a horrible stereotype of the loutish footballer, he’s becoming a bit of a breath of fresh air.

Perhaps I’d stop short of wishing him upon our dressing room; Assou-Ekotto owning an oyster card and getting his hair done down Tottenham High Road is about as eccentric as I can handle in this new age of squad harmony at The Lodge, but a player with Mario’s unique outlook on life would certainly mean that life would never be dull, and Twitter never silent.

So here they are. They may have been taken from somewhere else, but I’m too lazy to check, and you may have heard a few of them already. What’s your personal favourite?

· Survived a usually fatal disease at birth

· £10,000 in parking fines.

· Car has been impounded 27 times.

· £300,000 fine for throwing darts at the youth team.

· Won £25,000 in a casino, gave £1,000 to a tramp outside the casino.

· Threw tomatoes at a Serie A manager.

· Threw Water Balloons at a Serie A disciplinary hearing.

· Started a fight with 4 bouncers after breaking the “no touching” rule at a strip club.

· The “bib” saga.

· Had a £120,000 Audi imported, wrote it off within a week.

· Had his friend approach girls in a nightclub and say “Balotelli will see you now”

· Sent to the shops by his mother to buy essentials for the house, came back with a giant trampoline, a Vespa and a Scalectrix.

· Has started fights at training with Kompany, Boateng, Tevez and Richards.

· Was frequently seen at the AC Milan superstore while playing for Inter Milan.

· Went on TV wearing an AC Milan shirt with his name on the back while playing for Inter.

· Whilst playing for Italy under 21’s, he is fouled, he sits on the pitch for 3-4 minutes ignoring the opposition, his team mates and the referee.

· He is then offended when he gets sent off and protests about it.

· Winks at Ferdinand after FA cup semi final and celebrates in front of the United fans.

· After the cup final on live TV, he says “I have been s*** this season, am I allowed say s*** on TV?

· Was stopped by police going around his hometown of Hulme with £ 25,000 cash in the passenger seat. When asked why he replied “because I’m rich”

· Had to be physically hauled away by Zanetti for refusing to let Samuel Eto’o take a penalty that he had earned.

· Once broke up with a girlfriend via text whilst she was presenting a live show.

· Drove his car into a women’s prison because he wanted to “look around”

· Has connections with the Italian mafia, he has testified in court at a Mafia trial.

· Brought his Ipad on to the bench for Italy’s international against the Faroe Islands because he wanted to play games on it.

· Was seen in a Manchester shopping centre “hi-fiving” city fans the day after City had beaten United 6-1.

· Became the face of a firework safety campaign a few days after setting his house on fire from letting off fireworks indoors.

· Hands £50 notes to strangers when out shopping in Manchester.

· Chanted “Rooney, Rooney” at the prostitute who claimed to have slept with Wayne Rooney.

· Italy had just brought out a brand new home kit, at the start of the second half for their first match wearing the new kit, Balotelli came out in the old kit, claiming he didn’t like the new one. Nobody else had changed.

· Turned the landscaped back garden of his house into a Quad bike track

· Balotelli at it again...
apparently he pulled up in a petrol station and told everyone there to fill up because he was paying!