Anyone For Cottaging?- Fulham In The Cup

West London calling for the Totters this Sunday, another F.A. Cup romp to look forward to at Mohammed’s public lav Cottage. We’ve been here once already this season, Bill Gallas and his star jumps in an offside position were enough to distract a linesman and their net tender to ensure 3 away points. It’s also a re-run of last seasons quarter-final in this very same competition, our Pav-inspired lads finally getting the better of Uncle Woy at The Lane in a replay. I can see this very scenario playing out again this time around.

In transfer news, we were led to believe that Thursday was to be the big one. Biggest day of transferring to date they all said. Forlan, Suarez, Fabiano and any other number of names that sound a bit like they’ve come straight from an exotic cheese counter were expected to roll up to The Lodge, hold shirts with numbers akin to their k’s per week and tell the official site how they can’t wait to get started. Alas, no such events have occurred at the time of writing and the faithful are becoming restless. The ITK’s have gone awfully silent.

The Guardian’s Ian Prior yesterday tweeted to the world that we were assured of MASSIVE Spurs related transfer news and that all would be revealed at 5:30pm. Despite the fact that no journalist worth his salt would ever delay a big announcement for fear of a rival stealing his thunder, the eventual story was a rehash of an article I read back in November after we’d beaten Inter at The Lane. They’re preparing a summer bid of around £40m… and Real Madrid are also a bit interested. Even funnier than this however, was a Daily Mirror hack chiming in saying that Prior’s obviously got a reliable source in this one… ‘WE DON’T JUST MAKE THIS STUFF UP YOU KNOW!’ Learlz.

Like a stiff upper lipped Englishman aboard that famous ship that sunk a while back, I can but appeal for calm. As somebody wisely pointed out, our transfer window tends to span from the morning of 31^st of Jan to whatever time the window shuts on the same day (and a few minutes beyond, some cynics who know the inner workings of fax machines will tell you). In true Garry Kasparov style, I image that Levy has got his pieces in place, ready for another deadline day check mate to propel us back into contention in a season that needs a spark. If anyone can, Danny can.