Hotspur High End of Term Report: The Strikers

Where to begin with this lot? Not so much 4-4-2 or 4-5-1, as yep-yep-bleurgh this year, as this feckless lot have continued to disappoint. Blackpool away was a good example of decent strikers missing a lot of chances. The rest of the season is testament to their lack of intelligence in even getting into positions they’d almost certainly miss from anyway. Not that they’re entirely to blame for missing out on the top 4 of course, but it’s hard to imagine a less fruitful bunch of bananas.

Robbie Keane

I got into WHL early for our game against West Brom. As a result, I was privy to a bit more of the pre-match jumbotron build-up than the usual ‘quick dash from the juicer in time to catch the starting line-ups’. They were showing highlights from I’m not sure when; 02/03 I think, when we apparently done the double over West Brom, including a 3-2 (again, I think) victory at home where there was a lad in a Tottenham shirt running about, full of vim and brash confidence, bashing the goals in for fun. It’s a shame that I had no recollection of this Robbie Keane. I saw a banner at White Hart Lane saying ‘come back agent Keane, your work is done’ once the Spammers relegation was confirmed. An object of whimsy, but one would have to suspend belief that he had either the mental capacity to handle such a mission, or that he was faking his own rubbishness in order for it to work as a legitimate gag. He doesn’t, he wasn’t and it fell flat. Well done Robbie, you had the chance to prove you were still able to do a job in the Premier League and that there was life in the old dog yet. You just ended up looking like an old dog.

Verdict. Please go away forever.

Jermain Defoe

I don’t understand it! Jermain comes in to training EVERY DAY, and then despite not scoring a goal in almost a full calendar year, he isn’t automatically put in the starting eleven! I just can’t f***in' fathom it! I’m as confused as you Jermain. Born offside and shredded my last nerve this season. If he was ever going to be any good or do anything special in the game, he’d have done it by now, or at least shown signs of threatening to be very close to it. Another example of a player who felt like they ‘made it’ when they came to Tottenham and subsequently coasted by on 'instinct'. At best, he’s a little bit thick. At worst, the personification of the winning mentality retardation classically rife throughout the Lodge. For the right mentality, Modders and Sandro, for example, have ‘it’. Jermain has ‘not it’.

Verdict. Jermain Defoe would be wise to stay out of Mr Levy’s garden.

Peter Crouch

I like Peter, I really do. I get the impression that he’s quite a bright chap, and have always found his pre/post match comments to be generally well thought out and considered. As for the on pitch stuff, his performance away at AC Milan was near perfect- patient, strong, disciplined and a thoroughly deserved winning goal to boot. His performance at Real Madrid when we needed all those qualities and more was devastating. In the middle of all that are a lot of rather same-ey performances in the Premier League. Having a forward who can’t shoot for toffee needs to have something pretty special in their armoury to justify their place in the side, and while ‘special’ is rather ambiguous, he justifies his place in the squad, if not the starting eleven.

He’s committed, generally intelligent with his movement, a help in his own defence and always demands attention in the oppositions. For the amount of money you could hope to recoup versus his potential usefulness from the bench, I’d keep him.

Verdict. The only one of this lot you could guarantee a shift from. Europa League line leader and Premier League odd-job man.

Roman Pavlyuchenko

Some might say the decision of whether to keep Pav or not was made all the more difficult following his performance against Birmingham. I'd argue that it's exactly the reason that he needs to be replaced. I'll say this now- he is the best striker at the club by a long way. On his day, hands down the cleverest, sharpest and most gifted of all of them. It might not be saying much, given his peers, but I'd also argue that at his best, he's one of the best in the league. But therein lays the problem. For every half of football that he had against Birmingham, there are 10 games where he's off the pace, hopelessly sloppy and wanders around like a spooked kitten on bonfire night. Having watched him a lot, I don't buy the myth that he's simply lazy. His movement into the channels and willingness to find a bit of space are generally very good, but with Pav, you only ever need to see his first couple of touches to know whether he's going to have a good game or a bad one. I remember Hiddink, when he was in charge of Russia, saying that he only needed to look Pav in the eye on the morning of the game to know if he was up for it or not. Even Harry, after Pav's brace at the weekend said that he's been watching a couple of forwards in France, and that none of them looked as good as Pav did on Sunday. You can bet your bottom dollar that he wanted to add something along the lines of 'but on other days I see lads down Hackney Marshes that would blow him out of the water'. I know you were thinking it, Harry. You'd have been right as well.

Verdict: 10% inspiration, 90% being mentally capable enough to engage 'game face' on every match day. I'm afraid 10% isn't enough to justify a place in a squad that's being slowly built around a 4-5-1.

Hotspur High End Of Term Report: The Middlers

Continuing last week’s largely pointless and subjective overview of our defendonauts, it’s time to move onto the middlebots. A collection of chaps who’s opta stats might look slightly more handsome if they were setting things up for striketrons whose CPU’s hadn’t been fried by excessive hot air blowing and the really bright strobe lights of Faces. Same format; a horribly skewed and stunted analysis, followed by an ill-conceived verdict on their futures. Begin.

Aaron Lennon

Rumours abound that he’s pining for the North following a breakdown in relations with the gaffer. As for the year’s on-field contribution, a few great moments but he’s certainly more often under, rather than over whelmed, and questions have begun to be asked, quite rightly, about his level of progression. On his day, he’s one of the best. A true get-bums-off-seats-in-excitement-er. Off it, there are a number of spectacular shuttle runs to the halfway line, followed by a tap back to his RB.

Verdict: Clear-the-air talks and get him fit and motivated again. Keep.

David Bentley

Yeah. That one didn’t really work out did it? A winger with no pace needs to have an incredible passing ability and an almost telepathic reading of the game in order to justify their place. He has neither. Probably a decent lad but daft as a brush and sadly just not good enough.

Verdict: I’d snap yer ‘and off for six million

Giovani Dos Santos

There’s a reason why Barcelona let him go ya know. Was stand-out terrible in the very poor Carling Cup defeat after appearing to have spent all day in the juicer.

Verdict: Enjoy life back in Spain or whatever.

Wilson Palacios

I still remember his debut- the 0-0 draw at home to the arse. Spurs had been without a defensive minded midfielder in so long it appeared as though the game was being re-invented before our very eyes, as he hassled and hurried the bewildered visitors and kept his passing simple. He was an instant hero. Sadly for Wilson, we’ve evolved quickly, and the expectations placed on our current DM’s goes beyond simply running about and making a nuisance of yourself. He needs to pass concisely, pick the pockets on the opposition, tackle while remaining upright and chip in with the odd surging run and goal. His name is Sandro. He was brilliant away at AC Milan, but when asked to come in as part of the squad rotation, he’s struggled badly in the league.

Verdict: Needs to play regular football to be effective. If the right money comes in, then best of luck Wilson, I’ll always remember your debut.

Sandro

Bigger, faster, stronger. Darwin’s theory of evolution incarnate. He can do it all. I take my hat off to the club employee who spotted him and the other one that made sure we got first dibs on him and done that tie-in deal thing with his Brazilian club. He is truly a Braziliant prospect.

Verdict: (joint) First name on the team sheet next season.

Luka Modric

And he’s the other one. Superlatives fail me when trying to encapsulate the grace with which he glides around the pitch, turning away effortlessly from the lesser mortals who attempt to drag him down. The best player at the club by a country mile, and at the centre of everything we do that’s good. Balance and poise, the likes of which I’ve never seen.

Verdict: More valuable than whale tears. Don’t even think about it…

Jermaine Jenas

I’m no Jenas hater, and the whole debate about what he offers has been done to death. Nothing I say will be new to anyone who’s read a Tottenham blog in the last 6 years, so I’ll just concentrate on the positives and say he’s a willing lad and offers a bit of energy on his better days.

Verdict: Time to move on. Your work here is done.

Steven Pienaar

I feel sorry for Steven, who joins a long list of Tottenham players who’ve thought they signed as central midfielders, happen to be left footed, and are then constantly deployed on the left wing. Off the top of my head; Steed, Luka (before Harry came to his senses) and Niko have all suffered this fate.

Harry: I see you’re left footed Steve. Good, we need cover on the left wing.

SP: Oh. Well, yeah, I’m happy to muck in, but you know I’m an energetic but essentially defensive minded central midfielder don’t you?

Harry: Yeah, definitely, and a trific one at that, but, you know, we don’t ‘ave that many left footers at Spurs, so play your cards right and you could make that left wing your own.

SP: Well that’s nice to know but I am a central midfielder by trade and would prefer to fight for my place th…

*ring ring*

Harry: ‘old on Steve, that’s San’. Stupid cow wants to make me nut cutlets for dinner.

Ol’ ‘arry won’t stand for that saaaahhhhhhhnnnnnnn. OY! Joe! Get Stevie whipping in those crosses with that left wand of ‘is. Trific.

SP: *sighs*

And so on. The snap judgements by a number of fans of a player who’s still settling into his new club and being asked to play out of position are, in short, staggering. For anyone who’s watched him prior to his signing for Tottenham, they will know what a top class performer he has been for Everton these past few seasons and is, in my opinion, a great piece of business. If you need more convincing, the argument that he basically negates the need for Jenas to take up a squad place should be more than enough!

Verdict: Keep

Tom Huddlestone

Unfortunately, injuries have put paid to any meaningful contribution this year from everyone’s favourite ketchup fiend. Still an integral member of the Hotspur fraternity.

Verdict: Keep

Rafael Van der Vaart

Transfer of the season. Our market activity has been somewhat uninspiring fare over the last year or so, but thanks to a dodgy fax machine and some sweet talking, and despite a slightly worrying post-Christmas dip in form, at 8 million quid, the Dutchman has been a great piece of business. He went from being a ‘where do you play him?’ to a first name on the team sheet in a matter of weeks and there’s a lot more to come from him after a bit of well earned r&r, a full pre-season and getting a centre forward partner that has a brain. Exciting.

Verdict: Ooooooooooooh yes.

Niko Kranjcar

Like his fellow right-backing countryman, and even David Bentley to some extent, I just feel the days of an unaggressive but technically gifted fringe player are on the wane. Niko’s a throw-back to some extent- languid and mercurial at times but lacking that fire in the belly to come on and turn a game. Seeing him ousting Mod, VdV, Sandro or Thudd to become a regular starter takes a leap of faith, given Harry’s reluctance to use him on a regular basis. A real shame and a failure from the management more than Niko, but the reality is that he won’t ever be given the run in the side that his quality deserves, therefore never reaching the heights I’m sure he’ll scale somewhere else.

Verdict: Would love to keep him, but a decent fee is the best we’re going to get out of this one.

Andros ‘don’t call me Andy’ Townsend

Saw him on loan at the Orient a couple of years back and wasn’t overly impressed. Saw him play against Charlton and certainly was. Make him a regular starter in the Europa and the Carling Cup. Pacy, fearless, direct and can deliver a cross. Useful.

Verdict: More first teaming next term.

Gareth Bale

He’s like the Welsh Ryan Giggs! Lilywhite-tinted specs off for this one. He’s had 1.5 blinding games this season, a whole handful of very ordinary ones, and another smaller handful where he’s been pretty good but we were told he was brilliant because of the 1.5 blinders. Perhaps I’m just being contrary as a retaliation for all the Bale-issimo mania we’ve all had to sit through, but there’s no hiding from the fact that the boy has got a LONG way to go to be mentioned in the same breath as Giggs. If we can keep him fit and able then he’s devastating, but the kids not 22 and he’s spent half his career on the treatment table. His back is an issue, and while modern fitness, physio and surgical regimes are all impressive, I have an awful feeling he’ll always struggle for any sort of consistency. We just need his hamstrings to go and then we’re really lumbered… and that’s not to mention his ankle that went quite sickeningly from under him, so let’s add ligament damage (which was clearly the result of not being 100% fit from his previous injury) to that list and we’ve got quite a worrying long-term picture for the lad.

Reports today suggesting that Harry will sit down with Gareth to talk through a potential mega-bid from Manchester City, because, apparently, Harry ALWAYS discusses any potential move with his players due to his man-management style and their ‘special relationships’. Yeah right, can you imagine him having a sit-down chat with Luka if Man United came in with a £50m offer? Would he f**k. He’d quite rightly reject the offer out of hand. My feeling is that the club know Bale is perma-crocked and that now represents the best time to sell.

Verdict: Honestly, if silly money came in that meant the difference between an ordinary forward or a top-drawer one, I’d take it.

Leaping Liverpool! An Away Win

Well that was unexpected. And by unexpected, I mean of course, completely predictable in the ‘bloody typical Tottenham’ mould of things. Going to Liverpool for the first time in however long not neeeeeeeding the points, and getting the rub of the green and a clean sheet in what was a thoroughly professional and relatively pain-free performance and excursion.

A deflected long ranger and a dubious penalty decision at the home of a SkyTV pet… from Howard Webb? I was tempted to ask Ziggy when I was due to leap, hoping that the next one would take me back to my own universe where that sort of thing never happens to Tottenham. That aside, we were indeed infuriatingly good and were largely untroubled by a team who’s form of late has been nothing short of devastating. They’d be second if the league had started from when Kenny came in you know. You might not have heard every Liverpool fan on planet Earth tell you that, so I’m just letting you know. If you hadn’t heard. 2P8G’s anyone?

Player of the Season elect, Luka Modric and the ever-impressive Sandro were EPIC in the middle, and Rafa’s move from the right to the central support role- you know, the one where he was bought to play in and is really good at when given a proper run- was a roaring success until his withdrawal. Funny that. I’m looking forward to seeing the results of giving him a proper rest, a full pre-season, and a half-decent centre forward to work with. Largely excellent stuff from the rest of the chaps as well, but special large excellence was reserved for the best central defender of his generation. Oh Ledley, not a week after I was ready to put you out to stud, you stroll back in and remind everyone why you’re completely indispensable. It makes me want to weep at what he could have achieved in the game without his problems. The man is just an utter freak of nature- spending the last 6 months on exercise bikes and anti-gravity treadmills, and rocking up with a performance of the highest quality. An utter joy to watch, I take it all back, keep him around as long as we can!

Europa League is beckoning then. Even if we revert back to type and lose/draw at home to one of the Premier Leagues pub sides on Sunday, and Liverpool win their scrap, unless our failure is accompanied by a veritable pool table of reds and yellows, we’ll be there via the fair play league anyway. The big difference being however, that qualification via the fair play league means that we’ll have to start playing preliminaries in about 3 weeks. Finishing 5^th means we go straight into the seeded bit. Is there a knockout round before the group stages? If so, we’ll go into that. An achievement or the lesser of two evils?

Don’t get me wrong, I like the ‘idea’ of European football at whatever level, but the reality for this cup-guaranteed season ticket holder is far less cut and dried. Purely selfishly, my Thursday night 5-a-side (which I bloody love) will have to be skipped on match days, shelling out thirty five scheckles for games in the freezing cold against FC Gzskgnfkivbjkfzzz of Albania, and the inevitable domestic’s that will result from me having to disappear to WHL on Sunday afternoons to watch our re-arranged PL fixtures are all things I associate with the Ropey Cup. And on top of that, I don’t think we should be naming any of our first teamers among the European squad to keep them fresh for the Prem. I realise I’m probably in a minority, but I’m going to need a bit more convincing that this Thursday night stuff is any great shakes.

Hotspur High End of Term Report: Goalkeepers and Defenders

With the campaign all over bar the shouting, now seems as good a time as any to have a look at how the pupils at Hotspur High have faired this season. Some have been a rank above. Others have just been rank. For the purposes of putting a nice little bow on the subject, we’ll rank them as ‘keep’, ‘get rid’ or ‘if the right money comes in then here’s a carriage clock, an opus and a big thanks for your efforts’.

Heurelho Gomes

Nice easy place to start, some may think. Readers of this blog will know that I’ve long been a supporter of Gomes, as highlighted HERE , but even I have had to bury my face in my hands at some of his recent antics. However, I’ll continue to represent the silent minority and say that the guy is still a quality goalkeeper (no laughing at the back… and front… and middle) BUT, that he needs a bit of mental therapy. There has always been an element of danger in watching Gomes. Sublime to ridiculous and capable of doing things only a hand full of his world peers would be able to do. Get his head right and we’ve got one of the best in the world.

Verdict: Keep

Carlo Cudicini and Stipe Pletikosa

Contracts up. If a change in our goalkeeping set-up is needed, perhaps it might just be the competition surrounding our number 1 that needs mixing up. Stipe has publicly stated that it was a mistake to come to us. Shame, because I like the idea of an elder statesman in our goalkeeping ranks, but perhaps a genuine young buck of a contender to work alongside both would be a better mix.

Verdict: Stipe off, keep Carlo, ship in a young contender to work alongside Parks, Gomes and Carlo.

Alan Hutton

The worst right back I’ve ever seen. I don’t say that lightly. I’ve seen Dean Austin AND Paul Stalteri. Never have I seen a player make 100% incorrect decisions when asking himself whether to stand off or commit himself. It’s really quite astonishing the number of times he gets it wrong.

Verdict: Bag him up and leave him outside the nearest charity shop.

Vedran Corluka

I like Charlie, really I do, but I can’t help think that the days of the plodding, solid RB are gone. There’s no escaping the fact that the best full-backs in this country and indeed Europe are able to act as secondary wingers, supporting attacks and central defenders with equal aplomb. A task sadly beyond Charlie, and with the emergence of Kyle Walker, you’d have to say his days as our first choice RB are numbered.

Verdict: Keep if he’s happy to be used as a squad player, but if he wants regular football and the right money comes in then I wish him all the best. He’d be brilliant in Serie A.

Younes Kaboul

First time around, looked like an ACTUAL raging bull, eating bullets, hanging out with bully off of bulls eye, and snorting red bull, released into a pen full of newborn kittens. This year we’ve seen what all the fuss was about when he first joined. Another years apprenticeship under Gallas and he should be a permanent fixture in our back line. Strong, tall, athletic and a rapidly developing defensive brain. Powerful.

Verdict: Keep

Sebastian Bassong

Scored at Birmingham, took part in the Gattuso/Jordan dust up and gave away the stupidest penalty you’ll ever see up at Blackpool. Inauspicious, but there was enough good stuff about him the previous season when he was getting games on a semi-regular basis to say he’s worth hanging on to.

Verdict: Keep

Ledley King

Long live the Ledley! Not sure I can add any more to the debate about whether he’d be the finest of his generation if it weren’t for the knee. That’s because there is no debate. He would have. Definitely. With tears welling up and a lump in my keyboard wire, it’s time to relinquish the squad place and put him out to stud. Let’s try and do this with the dignity and gravitas it deserves.

Verdict: Defensive coach, name a match day suite and a stand at the new stadium after him.

Jonathan Woodgate

Not to the same extent as Ledley, but time to call it a day old bean. Another heart breaker, but we have to move on and free up those squad places. We’ll always have the Carling Cup.

Verdict: Maybe Ledley could use a helping hand in his new imaginary defensive coaching job?

Michael Dawson

Mr Dependable and all credit to him that there’s not a peep of a debate about who should be wearing the armband. Player of the Year last season, and while he’s not reached the same heights, playing alongside Gallas has given him great confidence to get on with what he does best. No nonsense, unfussy and assured. Quietly excellent.

Verdict: Keeparoo

William Gallas

Best signing since… sliced bread. I’ll tell anyone who’ll listen that I was thoroughly in approval of him signing last summer, because the best players move among the best clubs. Him signing for us somehow justified that we were the real deal, and he’s been a revelation. None of the sulking or tantrum throwing that many sceptics envisioned, and he summed up the mood of the Tottenham faithful in yesterdays Evening Standard by saying that it doesn’t matter how far we got in the Champions League; not qualifying for it for a second time in an average league must be considered a failure. Keep it real Billy, and keep on trucking.

Verdict: Burn all the archive footage and wipe your memories. He’s a Yiddo.

Benoit Assou-Ekotto

The best thing about Benny is that he’s awesome. Minimalist home décor, minimalist thinking. Win the ball, keep your control tight, distribute intelligently, support your winger. If it’s just a job then he’s doing a bloody good one. Alan Hansen see’s him as our weak link based on a not-so-clever away performance at Everton, but most of us know from watching him all the time that he’s an excellent footballer and a key first teamer.

Verdict: Keep, please.

Blackpool Match Report

Despite being massively tempted to google a picture of a dog turd and post it as my match report in the immediate aftermath of the game, it’s probably far more mature to offer some considered opinion, so I’ll attempt to do that instead. So ner.

For a glorious half hour, between the news of City losing and the lead up to our late kick-off, a warm, thin, golden sliver was allowed to breakthrough the gloom, and bathe our huddled personage. We thought it was hope. Turned out it was unpleasant, stinky piss.

You could have started writing the headlines for the website at half time, such was the inevitability of our fate. ‘It wasn’t to be’, ‘one of those days’. You wouldn’t even have to take the trouble to interview Harry for the umpteenth time. C&P the quotes from all our home draws ‘we created enough chances’, ‘we had loads of possession’, ‘we tried everything but couldn’t break them down’. Horribly, horribly familiar.

Gareth Bloody Bale. Those who’ve taken even the most fleeting of glances over these pages in the weeks following young Gareth’s ‘return’ from injury, won’t be shocked to know that I’m not in the least bit surprised that he’s now probably pondering a return for our Christmas fixtures. Anyone else been massively frustrated by his reluctance to run at anyone, or even run into space since his return? So much of his game is about twisting, turning and being quick off the mark. When you’ve had a back injury like he has, these are things you don’t want to be doing. I’m by no means an expert, but having had smatterings of physio treatment in my time, I have had some experience of trying to play a bit of footers while carrying a minor injury to the hip/lower back, and our young winger has been showing all the classic signs of somebody who’s got no confidence in his body to stand up to the rigours of Premier League football.

Phrases like ‘you’ll get hurt if you go in half-hearted’ and ‘hit him early and let him know you’re there’ are ones that will ring a few bells for anyone who’s ever played at even the lowest of levels, but are as relevant as they are clichéd. Any opposition manager worth his salt over the past few weeks would have told every one of his players that a hit on Bale takes him out of the game. They can smell his fear a mile off. The pictures of his ankle going are truly sickening, but unfortunately, a vivid example of what happens when you play hurt and go in tentatively.

As for the rest, Modric and Sandro were our best players once again, while the ‘Rafa on the Right’ project continues to baffle and annoy in equal measure. Pav had one of those games where deploying a ‘Wacky Weasel’ up front would have been more use, and Defoe? Perhaps ‘Underworld’ can do a ‘Born Offside’ remix and compile a four hour video to accompany it.

I’d like to be looking forward to giving Man City’s cage a bloody good rattling tomorrow, and find out what they’re really made of over the next couple of weeks. Instead, I’ll be watching on and wondering what could have been.

As Good As It Gets

Greetings all. Despite best efforts and even putting my money where my mouth is, even this ever-chirpy blogger is finding it hard to envisage a sequence of events that would lead to us reclaiming our top 4 berth. Like the long weekend, Tottenham’s dream of a return began fading out of sight, and all but ended, last sunny, Saturday afternoon at Stamford Bridge. We all saw it. Daylight robbery, staggering incompetence, so cruel. A conspiracy? With our fate as also-rans virtually sealed, I find it hard to muster the emotion to give the officiating performance the vitriol it deserves; calling for the heads of these professional clowns that extinguished any lingering hope we had of UCL qualification, while making sure that Sky Sports can run their (I’m certain) already prepared string of ‘’BIGGEST EVER F**KING GAME IN THE HISTORY OF THE F**KING GAME’’ adverts in the lead up to the only one they’ve ever wanted to make interesting all season long. Our ‘ave a go-ing, media darling-ing and Gareth Bale-ing flattery would appear to have been just that. Firmly put back in our place, the Tottenham Hotspur product had run it’s life-cycle for this season; there was no more juice to be squeezed from our narrative fruit and we were disarmed; a killer blow in the throes of our seasons death would NEVER be tolerated. ‘D’ya get me sweetheart?’

‘Yes. It’s not a subtle point you’re making, Mr Udall’

Sliding effortlessly back to the point and away from what could descend into Mourinho levels of imagined persecution, Harry Redknapp and Melvin Udall share a lot of similarities, not least in their ability to wow the wider world while showing an almost dismissive regard for the man on the street (or in the stands in Harry’s case). Hard to love but always compelling, his recent stultification at those who dared to suggest that home draws to West Ham and West Brom weren’t exactly what we were looking for, the bigger picture shows that we’ve come a long way under his guidance, and removing Harry won’t magically install the mental cojones that all bar a select few of the troops are sadly lacking; Mods and Sandro to name but two of the exceptions.

One can no more single out Harry than single out the goalkeeper, 4-4-2 vs 4-5-1, the forwards, VdV, mental attitude, not signing a striker, not signing more experience, not signing hungrier youth, UCL distractions, the chairman, the OS malarkey, the fans, the weight of expectation, the length of the grass at Upton Park last September, or Saturdays officials for the failings of our campaign. Some have called for the manager’s head. Why not, he’s the man in charge, the buck surely has to stop with him right? Will Osama’s death lead to peace and tranquillity throughout the land? The example is perhaps a little extreme but the main point that changing a figurehead will not resolve the myriad of other issues is both broad and valid. Ossie and Harry are also victims of our desire for neat solutions and focusing our hatred on a single entity. Demonise one person, make everyone think that they are solely responsible for any evil visited upon us and rejoice when their head is brought to us on a platter.

‘What if this is As Good As It Gets?’

With nowt but the prospect of contemplating a Europa League campaign against… not contemplating a Europa League campaign, will this season be remembered as being somewhat vintage? Our memories are wonderful things. I, for example, had to search back through the results from last year to recall that we suffered disappointing home defeats to Stoke and Wolves, but have no problem recalling that Rose and Bale scored in the home win over the goonies, or a frame-by-frame recollection of Crouchie scoring up at Middle Eastlands. 10 years down the line, I’ll recall fondly the night I saw Gareth Bale terrorising the reigning European Champions, and Lennon and Crouch crafting our winner at the San Siro against AC Milan, or Younes rising at the Emirates and treasure them as dearly as family photos. I probably won’t remember the draws with West Brom/Ham. History won’t judge this season as a collage of failure, despite the fact that our micro-analysis can’t see past the minutest of detail at this moment. It’s bigger picture time, and in 5, 10 or 20 years, we’ll look back on the days of Modric, Bale and VdV and proclaim what a marvellous side we had.

But that’s not to say that we haven’t missed a trick, and that we haven’t yet made sure that this won’t be as good as it gets. A chance to establish ourselves firmly in the big time hasn’t yet passed us by, but to say that next season is rather important for Tottenham, may be the understatement of our recent history. The goodwill garnered from this years Champions League campaign might have staved off the itching feet of our star men for now, but a summer of transfer market failure, coupled with an iffy start to next season will see all of that kudos disappear very quickly.

Apparently there’s a game tomorrow. Let’s win it. The road to next season’s league title begins here.