Transfer Rubbish: Part 2 (of too many)

Cheeky bid

Can you believe it! Can you ACTUALLY believe it…

The Goonies want Defoe! News this morning from reputable outlets such as the BBC gossip column and some bloke paid by the letter to produce content for FootballRagAndBone.com has the Faces promoter being the answer to scoring more goals down at the Sticklebricks Stadium. Can you imagine Defoe and Walcott in the same side, trying desperately to assist each other putting the round thing in the netty thing? The image of two penguins trying to read a tube map springs to mind. It’s the sort of thing I’d feel bad wishing upon them. But I will.

Oh yeah, and apparently Chelski have lodged a ‘bid’ of 22 million doubloons for the contractual release and services of Luka Jeremiah Lazarus Poseidon Leotard Modric. I say ‘bid’, as it reminds me of the time I found myself at a charity auction for outrageously self-important types, and put in a blind bid of about twenty quid for a two week holiday in Mauritius, just so it looked as if I wasn’t there for the free booze. You never know, maybe nobody else would notice and I’d walk away with the prize? Turns out it went for several hundred times more than that. Or it could mean that perhaps today is some sort of Russian equivalent of April fools.

On the other hand, this could be great news for us, with some sense finally being restored to the transfer market. It will mean that we’ll be free to go and bid 5 million quid for Torres and Sturridge in return, while comfortably having enough left over to buy Suarez and Carroll for 8. Viva la Revolución!

OK, let’s go for a newsnow lucky dip, I’ll be 2 minutes…

…Ah, that’s a shame. Woody released (chortle. guffaw). We’ll always have Wembley *wipes away single tear*

Berbatov back to Spurs when Ashley Young deal is done. We’re doing that again are we?

Something about Harry eyeing up £7m prospect. No sir, you will not have my click.

Well that was depressing. More bleating than a shearing shed over on twitter so I’m off to tell everyone I’ve got a snout in Leicester who’s seen Heskey having lunch with Levy. Toodles.