Slackburn RollOvers

I’m becoming further convinced with each passing week that Harry and the headline writers are the antithesis of footballing symbiosis. Harry can’t fart without the papers doing a 4 page spread dedicated to its various intricacies, just as Harry himself appears averse to diplomacy. The oracle has spoken and the verdict is in. Foreign ownership= bad. All things disrupting the status quo= bad. A peanut for the dancing monkey. Mr No Nonsense Englishman with your half-time cuppa  sir, what do you think of foreign ownership and their plans to scrap relegation and promotion? *jig jig jig* Not for me, nah, won’t work will it?

Poor Harry, hoisted by his own ability to summarise a complex issue with a string of hesitant monosyllabic responses, yet somehow put it all in a perfect bite size press nugget. Still, I have sympathy; rather that than bland clichés. His celebrity has grown to a point where he’s asked on everything, and it’s recycled to the nth to reach a point where us Tottenham talk trawlers are treated to a new viewpoint on a daily basis. We now cross live to Harry for his thoughts on Gaddafi’s demise, and reaction to last night’s dinner. Happy to oblige.

Blackburners away then. Winning run put to bed by a combination of poor decision making, and a lush hit from men who’ve never really managed to build on the promise of their early careers, what better place to get back on track than at bottom of the pile Rovers? Let’s face it, they’re bobbins, and will almost certainly go down unless the Indian Bernard Matthews give the Steve Stone look-a-like the heave-ho before too much longer. The only way they should be able to compete with us is physically, but with Parker and, almost certainly, Sandro in the middle and Kaboul at the back, I can’t see us getting out-muscled by anyone, and we should have way too much for them.

A good night’s work in the Ropey then? Carroll was rather good, Lennon got better as the game went on, Giovani looked OK, Defoe was offside a lot, and Pav’s goal was a beaut’. I had a ticket, but when the offer of a score in exchange for it came in, I couldn’t say no. WHL is a special place when it’s full and there’s any sort of ‘bite’ in either the crowd, lilywhites or the opposition, but having sat through Hearts and Shamrock already this year, I was more than happy to switch on the gogglebox and enjoy it in (channel 5) HD with tea and a pack of fig rolls. I even wore slippers. What have I become?