ITK's and Other Cliched Pre-Season Rubbish

Blogtacular salutations old chums. It’s been a while.

So what’s been happening since I last updated? AVB appointed, a mad rush of signings in consecutive days (erm…2), and then lots of chatterboxing. We also played some games of football that we either won, drew or lost, that apparently mean nothing but are also great indicators of who will be starring for us this season. Got it? Laments on ITK’s are perhaps duller than the characters who promote themselves as said oracles, but let’s not pretend we don’t all love it, and that without it, it would just be a summer of the OS and F4. There’s only so many times one can hear about some youngster in the academy being out to ‘Earn His Spurs’ *eeeuuuurrrrggggghhhhh*, before you have to accept what wonderful background music it provides to this crazy footballing orchestra who assemble on timelines and forums throughout the land.

Still, there’s only so many times you can hear that it’s Ade’s/Citeh’s/Spurs’ fault that that particular Festival de Snooze hasn’t sparked into action, or that discussions with Madrid are ‘ongoing’, before the temples need a serious massaging, and a step away from the info boxes to get back to reali…

… ooooooh, Soldado! Now that sounds interesting *haemorrhages from ears* *dies*

With Modric finally being off (hopefully), my prediction, for what it’s worth, is that being fans of the good news/bad news management sandwich, his ‘we wish him all the best for the future’ will be buried somewhere between someone ‘earning his spurs’, Defoe once again being really brilliant at goal getting for the mighty English (but still ignoring the fact that he’s a bit rubbish), and further trampled by announcements of incomings. In other words, it’ll all be done at once. Also, expect someone that nobody has mentioned coming along, followed by ‘I knew there was something going on, but this is another ‘rabbit out of the hat’ and they have been very secretive about this’. Maybe a  ‘even MY source wasn’t privy to this’. And with all the RVP nonsense, it might be a good day to get this one sewn up and buried asap. Just hearing that AVB will be holding a press conference this afternoon. Will this be to discuss the Newcastle game, OR HAVE WE SIGNED EVERYONE WE’VE BEEN PROMISED?!?!?

But more important than all of this is just how we’ll end up doing this season, and a few predictions. A point on Saturday would do, and if we’re not top 3 after 6 games, expect mass panic. At close of play in May 2013, top 4 is doable, and should be the aim. You’ll hear talk of being happy with 6^th as long as there are signs of improvement, but this isn’t a fantasy land, and while it won’t be a sackable offense, won’t be tolerated to the levels that many are already alluding to. Get it right now or get out. I just hope the powers that be are brave enough to stick to their convictions and at least give him a chance to top 2 from 8.

Other than that: goals will be scored, others conceded, there will be poor refereeing decisions and ‘I can’t wait for video technolog-ies’, with some liberal measures of footballers airing their dirty undies on the twitbox and being told off for doing so. And Di Matteo looking like someone drew a face on a balloon.

Rio’s Premier Prediction: Di Matteo to sacked before Christmas, Redknapp, who has already been lined up as cover, then acts as caretaker until next summer when Guardiola is finally appointed. You heard it here at some point.