Stranger Than Fiction- AC Milan Away

A bite-size Sunderland reaction first, as it’s already been done to death elsewhere, but I’m still delighted about the nature of our hard-fought victory which bodes well for tonight. Other than Niko’s match winner, the game was rather bereft of quality so a grinder of a performance was needed, and we duly delivered. It was like getting done early by a spinning-bird kick, then bludgeoning your way back into the fight with a series of straight-forward punches… with the winner being a nicely timed upper cut or something, and just doing enough for the victory. The team sheet before the game had me a bit worried with it’s lack of pace, and I’m sure I wasn’t the only one to recognise that Harry was taking a big risk by saving Lennon for Milan. Gamble paid off and a thoroughly excellent 3 points. I also found out I could do a modest power slide in my living room. Brilliant.

And so to the big one. Yes, the Premier League is the priority, but my fellow yids, this kind of fixture is the reason we clench our fists and cheer so vociferously at our 0-1’s and 1-2’s oop north, to satisfy our greater purpose. AC Milan away in the last 16 of the Champions League. In the mishegoss of what we’re plotting to achieve, just take a moment and let that play on your palettes. AC Milan. Champions League. There are fewer sexier adventures in the world of footy and our club is embarking upon it, and it would be almost churlish of us not to pause momentarily and let this pass without recognition. As much as I dislike Sky, their ‘trailer’ for our encounter makes me so bloody proud of our lads I could burst like a marvellous cynic-smashing balloon.

However, in the words of Winston Wolf: ‘let’s not start sucking each others dicks just yet’. There’s a job to get done, and quite a big one at that. AC Milan are a big draw because they’re quite good at football and have a few trophies to show for it, with a host of the worlds best ball kickers ready to parade around a few more this season. A glance at the Serie A table has our opponents 3 points clear at the top and fresh off the back of a 4-0 cake walk over struggling Parma, and they will be high on confidence. The puzzlingly maligned Ibrahimovic has settled back into his old home with his new employers quite nicely and has 13 goals to his name, with erstwhile Citeh whinge bag Robinho and Pato hot on his heels. There are weaknesses to be taken advantage of, not least with the ageing legs of their side. They are without their own metronome, Andrea Pirlo, with midfield raging bull Genaro Gattuso and former Totter KPB also crocked, leaving a potentially unterrifying prospect of Seedorf and Flamini for our lads to fight with in the middle.

Gareth Bale has become an almost Zorro like figure around European Football, his name being cautiously whispered by the powers that be after his exploits against AC’s city rivals Inter in the group stages, but unfortunately, their coach, whether just paying lip-service or not, recognises that our hopes did not rest on the young Welshman’s shoulders. While there is no understating young Gareth’s ability to change a game, our success has not been built around him, and his absence is a mere footnote to the news that Modric has been training and, despite Harrys attempted mind games, will almost certainly start alongside VdV and Wilson/Peanut (Jenas will be missed), with Lennon and Krankie to play wide and provide for our Lonesome Dove, Peter Crouch, who’s experience will be a key weapon (no foolies). I can’t see any other set up than this any more than I can see any of the back 5 from Sunderland changing.

Having played here already this season can only benefit us. No one will need to be reminded of the nightmare start we had in the group stages, when only a 2^nd half cruise control from Inter and a Bale finishing master class prevented us being on the end of a very embarrassing score line. Perhaps the absence of Bale might even aid our cause in shifting their focus to our depletion, while the stage is set for Lennon to have just as big an impact as the Welshman. Let’s hope all our lads saw what turning up for a big European night has done to rocket Gareth into the upper echelons of the game and give them the determination to emulate his achievements.

Apologies for the tired cliché, but our biggest opponents will be ourselves tonight. We’ve got the individual talent to match theirs, and a fair amount of experience gained this campaign already. A score draw would be a very good result, but a defeat by 1 would not be a disaster. Any more and you’d start to worry, but I fancy us against anyone at home. An away win would be incredible and not beyond the realms of possibility.

Arise, sons of Tottenham. Your time has come.