The World Is Not So Cold and Dark- An Away Win

‘’ More in hope than expectation, let’s go for a 0-1. Back to basics and one of our forwards to soften the blow of missing out on deadline day with a beaut’ of a goal.’’ (Me, yesterday)

Prophetic! At least I think that’s what she said.

I did also say that Pete should probably have been left on the bench if all we were going to do was knock it long and hope he could out-muscle Nelson and Samba. Can’t win ‘em all. Not quite a ‘beaut’ of a goal (although all Spurs goals are things of beauty to us) but it wasn’t a bad shout. In a reversal of roles, Van der Vaart’s cross for big Pete to knock in was nice to see. Midfielders creating chances for strikers? Whatever next!

After losing patience with the dodgy free streams, I bit the bullet and laid out a massive six pounds (for 60 days) for a service with actual channel buttons and a consistently decent picture. I believe the first win was free, so I might have to pay more if I want to see us win again next time. Lording it up with my paid-for service, it wasn’t the most comfortable viewing experience as Blackburn deserved at least a draw from the game, only for the patchy-of-late Gomes to pull off several excellent stops. Highlights from the rest of the side? Lennon (left) and VdV (right) playing as inverted wingers, while not an overwhelming tactical success, saw both men perform admirably, particularly Lennon whose mazy run in the second half laid a stonker of a chance on for Defoe, only for the Faces rep to stutter when he should have put us out of sight. VdV is struggling with a bit of form but his class is ever present, exemplified by his cross for Crouch’s goal. The big man himself worked tirelessly, won his fair share of battles, laid it off nicely and scored. The best Crouch performance you’re ever going to get. Thought Jenas had a very good game as well.

A job well done then. Nothing spectacular, but in a perverse kind of way, I get more satisfaction when we grind these sort of results out away from home. Just like the FA Cup defeat, let’s take these 3 points and roll on Saturday, and Bolton.

Our last match up saw us taking the coach trip north and put in an archetypal ‘after the Lord Mayor’s show’ performance following a midweek Bale-inspired home win over Inter Milan. We started sloppier than a fat Jeremy Kyle mum heading to the offy in a dressing gown and novelty slippers, and were 3 goals down before we put up any sort of fight. A couple of top quality goals for Hutt and Pav weren’t enough in the end and we surrendered meekly, finally going down 4-2. The score line flattered us.

Bolton roar into the weekend after a last-minute winner against a sorry looking, championship bound Wolves with loanee Chelski striker Sturridge getting the goal. The Coyle revolution has stalled somewhat of late, coinciding with Davies and Elmander losing their shooting boots, which sources say were sent to Kris Boyd at Boro as part of the David Wheater transfer. Stats compiled by someone far less lazy than myself, put Bolton’s Stuart Holden as the most consistent performer in the whole league before Christmas, our Mods, VdV and the tranny nodding-dog Nasri making up the rest of the performance-related midfield. He’ll be one to watch, along with Sturridge and the lad Lee, whole ran us ragged last time out.

As for us, a similar shape to Blackburn I’d have thought, with Dawson back from his ban to replace Bassong. Availability pending, Bale or Steven Peanut back in for Palacios. Following my one-in-a-row correct score prediction, sell your houses and get all your money on a 2-1 victory for the Totters.

In other news:

Honest Bob throws a leg at a loose ball, and despite the toblerone foot, manages to find the back of the net, therefore becoming West Ham’s player of the season.

Birmingham sent out Gardner, Ferguson and Bowyer against, De Jong, Barry and Vieira of City and they eventually bored each other into a draw to leave us just 5 points and a game in hand behind the Middle-Eastlanders.

Gary Neville retires from football after realising he’s embarrassingly rubbish since his injury being omitted from the Manure Champions League squad. Rumours circulating put him firmly in the bum print left by Andy Gray at Sky, and with it, leaving a nation stating they would LITERALLY prefer watching Jamie Redknapp over their Sunday roast.

Ledley King was all set to go under the knife in Germany, until. Wait for it. He’d realised he’d lost his passport, putting the operation back another week while he got a replacement. Reports say his ‘do you know who I am’ speech had little effect on passport control officers.

Luis Suarez has a giblet ear.