It’s Happening Again, Mummy

Alright, yeah?

Been away for the weekend, I do hope I haven’t missed anythi…

… oh my.

You want us to part as friends? I think I received a letter of similar sentiment from a bird once. Yes absolutely, jump into bed with the next door neighbour and all civilities will be maintained when I see you romping around in their back garden. No problem.

It’s easy to lash out at Luka, and while his comments certainly mean he should be on the receiving end of some very stern fist shaking gestures and ‘evils’, let’s not forget that it’s been our abject failure to finish in fourth place or recruit sufficient numbers of players who match his ambitions that have lead to this. The ITK’s have mentioned enquiries about Aguero, Rossi and Eto’o. A year ago, maybe this could have been passed off as good humoured drunken rubbish. This year it’s pure psychotropic trip-balls delusional fantasy.

At least Levy’s got the techies to copy and paste the same ‘you shall not pass’ message from a couple of years back. ‘’We will not be selling Dimitar Berbatov Robbie Keane Luka Modric for any amount of money. Unless of course, he throws his toys out of the pram, and when that happens, please make sure you have your least promising strikers available for loan and a blank cheque for the Tottenham Hotspur Foundation.’’

‘I thought you were different?’ Something else I’ve heard outside of a footballing arena, but this time, we all thought we’d reeeeeeeally got something made of sterner, loyaler, gooder stuff. As a top footballer, the least classy thing you can do is sign for Manchester City. The second least classy thing you could do is sign for Chelski. I think that might be the basis of at least half of my disappointment. A man I’d revered as not only a classy footballer, but a classy professional and human, suddenly revealing he has ambitions to play at Chelski. Like your missis turning round and telling you she’s leaving you for John Terry. To quote every drunk, dumped girl in the world ‘Why do I always fall for this type of guy?’ ‘Is it meeeeeeee?’ ‘It must be meeeeeeee!’ *weeps pathetically for hours*.

Nothing left but to sit back and watch it fizzle out to its inevitable conclusion. A crumb of consolation would be getting Sturridge thrown into the deal.

The new kits have arrived! I for one always like ‘Orgazmo’. On par with ‘BaseKetBall’, better than ‘Cannibal: The Musical’, not in the league of ‘South Park’ or ‘Team America’, but certainly a noteworthy addition to Trey Parker and Matt Stone’s film career. Nice one Spurs for giving it a bit of recognition. What can you say about the home shirt? It’s white with the badge on it. The re-inventing of the wheel will be at least another year then? The purple one which seems to be coming in for some stick is actually my favourite one, not least because it conjures up images of Sheringham and Klinsmann away at Sheffield Wednesday. Still not going to buy it though, this Plc have had enough money out of me for the time being thank-you-very-much.