Chelsea. Swansea. Norwich. Pop.

Both teams rueing a missed opportunity probably means it was a fair result. Still, avoiding defeat was the main objective, and we can wake up on Christmas morning in the knowledge that we’re London’s top placed Christmas fairies for the first time since 1995, and that ain’t not half isn’t not too bad.

Back to last night, wind well and truly sucked from the sails following the questionable equaliser, we were probably a little fortunate not to be behind at half-time. Also questionable is what Ledley and Benny thought they were playing at by stopping still and waiting for a handball call that never arrived. Not good enough chaps. They’ve both been excellent so far, but not one to put on the career highlights tape last night. Benny especially, had his worst game in a good 2-3 years; disappointing for a young man who has been largely excellent.

Invisible man replaced invisible man at half-time, and come the hour mark, came my first personal concession that a draw would be taken if offered. Still, didn’t mean any of us were any less gutted when Ade rolled his late effort wide, with a touch from ‘you know what you are’ unfortunately turning the ball the wrong side of his post. The bounder. The ready prepped ‘JT shrugs off personal problems to put in AMAZING performance’ have been predictably dusted off for the morning editions. When you’re a soulless, moral vacuum however, I’m not sure how difficult this actually is, and the fact it’s being praised almost beggars belief; from the same outlets no less, that 48 hours earlier had acted with such condemnation towards the Liverpool squad for trotting down to their local ‘we do stag and hen nights as well’ outlet.

Anyway, Norwich and Swansea away in just a few days, so let’s look ahead to these mothers. Paul Lambert and Brendan Rodgers will one day manage big clubs. They’re both Scottish/ Northern Irish and like to play decent football. What greater qualifications does one require to succeed in Premier League management? On paper, they should be good games, between sides that like to play decent stuff, and given the number of technicians available to us, even after the injuries, we should be able to out-football them. Decent home records for both though, so certainly not gimme’s, but bearing in mind WE ARE IN CRISIS! after claiming just a mere 4 points from the previous available 9, at least another 4 before heading into 3 win-able home games, would be novelty tie-rific.

Tottenham v Chelsea. It’s A Big’un.



AVB patrols the touchline


Greetings everybody, my first post as a married Gent. Things are going to change around here and make no mistake. Out go hastily compiled match reports and ill-informed opinion, and in come reason, logic, and a more rounded and mature outlook on, not just Tottenham Hotspur, but life itself.

*farts*

And what better way to kick off this brave new era than with a look ahead to what’s probably our biggest game of the season so far, against the unwashed of North Fulham. Having been lording it up in a country manner at the time, reports suggest that Sundays narrow victory against slumberland was very much a case of ‘job done’, but we might need a bit more tonight to keep our band wagon rolling.

Bale, King and Adebayor have all been declared ‘maybe baby’ by our Harold, which suggests to those fluent in ‘arry’ that all 3 will make it, while Sandro looks set to continue. A back 4, Captain Combover, Sandro and Mods sitting/tucking back in, when the full backs bomb on, with Bale and VdV buzzing around behind Ade is where best guess lies.

As for the opposition, lumbering, serial adulterer and Combat18 leader (slash) part time footballer Jonathan Terrance, having been spared a night in the cells, is free to Captain his deeply unpleasant charges, and provide us all with pantomime-levels of villainy. And what are games as these without a little theatre? As for the rest of them, Mata and Sturridge aside, they’ve been a collage of unremarkable grey, and I’m still not convinced the YTS management trainee they’ve got directing the blue traffic in his ‘crouching touchline, startled badger’ pose, knows entirely what he’s doing. Mind you, there’s a certain level of sympathy in having to deal with matters like the one he finds his Captain in, as well as the confused head-scratching of rotund ‘legend’ Frankincense. You’re slowing up in a game that’s getting quicker. Simpler than a 2 piece jigsaw puzzle, chief.

It says something that, Manchester clubs aside, we go into all fixtures now with a heavy expectation of victory, and tonight is no different. This lot are not that special: let’s not forget that without Stoke-levels of officiating at their place last season, we’d have won there as well, without a striker, and tonight presents another opportunity to underline our claim to be the capitals Christmas Kings. Sturridge and Mata’s shackling will be key, but in King, Parker and Sandro, we’ll have more than enough to cope.

If we’re truly going to take the next step as a club, we need to beat our rivals at the top, particularly at home, and make it a bit convincing while we’re at it. We seem to have grasped the concept of beating teams we should be, but a top of the table ‘six-pointer’ against an experienced bunch will give us a huge indicator of what the rest of this season has in store. It’s a big one. 3-1 Spurs.

Foys Orks 2 Footballers 1

Everyone settled down yet?

In the aftermath of Amir Khan’s defeat in Washington, at the hands of Washington-born Lamont Peterson, one boxing commentator made an excellent point; when you go to fight in somebody else’s back garden, make sure it isn’t close. Go in there and perform so mercilessly there can be no doubt who’s the champion. It could easily have been applied to Tottenham on Sunday.

I don’t accept that they ‘wanted it more’. We generally play controlled, possession football, creating openings by relying on our movement and ability. They played as if they’d each downed a 6-pack of red bull and got told that the lads dressed in purple had cussed their Mums.

The first half hour set the tone for the whole game… in fact, scrap that, the first minute set the tone, with them muscling their way through our shell-shocked back line and forcing Brad into an early save. ‘’But Mister Harry, I thought we were playing the English National Ballet select XI’’. Expecting something and dealing with it are completely different, but lads we thought would stand no nonsense- Parker and Kaboul to name but 2- were brushed aside like a bunch of Crouchey’s, or wacky waving arm-flailing inflatable tube men.

But the ref was to blame! Criiiiiiinge. Foy and his team had an absolute stinker, but when you’ve got a guy with an itchy trigger finger and an overwhelming desire to be ‘the man’, and you’ve already been booked, and your man is running nowhere, just stand him up. It’s pretty simple.

Anyway, I’ve sort of missed the boat on all the post-match stuff, so I’ll leave it there.

I’m getting married on Friday, so this will be the last you hear from your intrepid blogger as a single chap. Sunderland preview and report, I’ll leave to the many other fine wordsmiths out there, but suffice to say, their slice of luck and our somewhat unfortunate sequence of events from Sunday should see the universe realign itself ready for the dust up with Chavski.

Return of the Crouch

Hello etcetera.

A few ground-breaking headlines to come out of Spurs this week. Apparently someone is going to ‘earn his Spurs’ Like, when you earn *actual* spurs for your achievements in combat, but we’re called Spurs so it’s a really clever and highly original use of ‘spurs’. There have been other things that have Spur’d us on. How do they come up with this stuff?

Stoke away conjures up pictures, as opposed to full on game recollections. Have we ever played particularly well or badly up there? Is the Wallpaper (Britannia, I’m being told) Stadium just one of those places where everyone says exists, but it’s all a big lie? Like the lost City of Atlantis, or South London? Eidur getting the winner in the game that, pour moi, confirmed us as a Champions League team. More recently, that lush volley from the lad Garth and his surprised (slash) ‘did you see that?’ face. Still further back in time, before both of those, Gomes doing his ‘boo boo’ routine. I believe there was also an ambulance present? I’m struggling with much else.

But wallpaper, while being largely easy to ignore, can be really annoying and stubborn to shift when you’re forced to face it head on, which is exactly what we can expect from the stripy chaps on Sunday. Among their number are former Tottering favourites Woody, Wilson and Crouchy… well, maybe not Crouchy, but the other 2 always enjoyed a largely affectionate place in our lilywhite hearts. They still do, although largely because we probably know we’ve seen the best of them, and are unlikely to do us much harm. Peter, on the other hand, who had a scoring record of around 1 goal every calendar, will be greeted with far greater caution. A penny for every one of us who says: ‘you just know he’s going to score’.

Ledley’s ‘banged’ his knee, while Defoe and Bale have wonkys that sound as if they’ll be easily shaken off. Ledley’s absence is a worry but if Gallas can find some of the form of last year, we should have too much for them.

7 wins on the spin? We’re already record breakers with 6, perhaps the promise of a 7^th will ‘spur’ us on even further. Hahahahahaha. Classic me.

You Don’t Understand! You Weren’t There, Man!

Indeed I was not. During game time on Saturday, I was in transit toward a go-karting track to be out-driven by 14 year old boys, having spent the morning being pelted with paintballs by a gaggle of 14 year old boys. There’s a worrying pattern emerging here.

However, with the transit in question being equipped with all the mod’ con’s, like a radio, the bulletins came flying in. Goal followed goal, followed red card, followed goal. A free-nuffink home win enough to ensure that the brow was suitably and dramatically mopped, and the evening’s jovial celebrations and banter remained untainted by the nagging annoyance of points being dropped at home. A full autopsy could wait until the following day.

Bleary eyed, the12’’ gogglebox in my Southend Travelodge room flickered into life on Sunday morning, just in time to catch the highlights of our game. As the instant coffee begun to work its dubious magic, only 2 things managed to filter through to ones stuttering lucidity; it was never a red, and we missed another hatful. Actually, there was a bit of appreciation in the form of a pained groan at Lenny’s finish, but mostly it was about another week of goal mouth fluffery. Conventional (clichéd) wisdom dictates that it’s when you’re not making the openings that you need to start worrying, but if this is a parallel dimension we’ve stumbled into, where Tottenham are going to start challenging for bigger pots and pans, it’s a seismic shift in thought  and standards that needs to take place first.

Players like Defoe and Lennon, for example, have spent their entire professional careers in cultures of 2-1 home wins being great news against ANYBODY, whether it’s 0 or 20 chances that have gone begging; trotting into training the following day like a cock of the walk, safe in the knowledge that they’ve done enough, no matter how many lines had been fluffed. Indeed, we as fans are guilty of having the ‘job done’ approach, only for us to explode in rage when we’re missing the same efforts in tighter games of greater significance. While the likes of Giggs, Roy Keane, van Nistelrooy and Ronaldo might have been able to live with this kind of scenario every once in a blue moon, somehow, I couldn’t picture them being over the moon at 3 of them in a row, and you can bet SAF would be apoplectic. What about games where you simply won’t be allowed to create even a quarter of these chances? Saying that, I have full faith that it hasn’t escaped the managements attention, and that there will be a few words said.

Let’s start putting these dregs to the sword! If the Premier League has shown nothing else this year, it’s that the gap between the have’s and have not’s has grown once again. If we’re to continue making waves, the victories against the bottom half teams need to be more ruthless, more Man City/United-esque, and ensure that the ‘job done’ or ‘that’ll do’ attitude doesn’t become a comfortable malaise, when far greater efficiency against the top 6 or so will be even more vital.

Bubbled Over and Staging Wanderers

Out of Europe before Christmas. I’m struggling to be gutted about this.

You may or may not have noticed that ISS has not bothered previewing any of the group games since it appeared that the club couldn’t be bothered to field a team that showed any real intent to win any of the games. I’m not angry about this you understand, sacrifices need to be made if we are going to succeed in the league, and if they’d had the chance to do it again, I’m sure everyone involved in picking the team would have done the same, and I make them right. Last night, a home win would have been enough to virtually guarantee a post-Christmas jolly up on mainland Europa, but even with a suitably competent gaggle of pro’s, we came up short. The bubbles done good, and you can’t begrudge them their win after a dramatic rearguard action (ooh er). It’s negatives into positives time, and nobody will even remember the names of our group mates should be make the top 4 or beyond. Still, would have been nice to keep the kids around a bit longer. As it is, they’ll be off on loan, with only the beano to Shamrock left for them to show us what they’re made of.

Speaking of beano’s (and Irishness), It’s my stag do on Saturday. The original plan was to do a few bits, head over to The Lane, show the non-spursers of the party what a proper football team look like, and follow it all up with a few libations in the evening. Actually, no, the very original plan was going to be a trip to watch us play Stoke next Saturday, but having got everything booked, the powers that be decided the game needed to be moved to 4pm on Sunday, so it ballsed that plan up. We then tried to get everyone else tickets for the Bolton game this Saturday, but due to the late moving of the Stoke game, all tickets for Bolton were sold out by the time we enquired, so that was out. To compound the misery, Bolton have been in such shoddy form that their fans didn’t fancy yomping all the way to London to watch them get beat, so the lower bit of the away section has gone on sale to Spurs fans, where we would have all easily got tickets. Moral of the story: don’t plan anything around a Tottenham game.

Still, it’s my own fault for getting hitched in the middle of our best run since the 60’s, so I won’t be there to witness what should be a fair old thwumoxing (real word) of the Wanderers. Despite last night’s defeat, the word rags and floating cyber letters will tell you that we’re doing pretty well at the moment, and an out-of-sorts Bolton will be no match for our current might; that annoying ‘D’ from the hashtag predicted to drop down yet another place come 5pm on Saturday and Spurs up to second in the standings, the only possible outcome. A lamentation of our own inconsistency would usually follow, but in a similar vein to the M-People before us, we’re movin’ on up. Like trying to stack domino’s end-on-end, it used to be that Spurs could only ever put together 3, maybe 4 wins at a push before it all came crashing down. We’re made of sterner stuff these days. It’s more like stacking oxo cubes, or yoghurt pots, or something not quite so structurally flawed.

Bolton’s recent form is what you could only describe as ‘stinky’. Their opening day trouncing of Quipper made them look like a side who’d spent the summer quietly building something a bit good and knew what they were doing. Turns out they don’t. Even the old battering ram, Kevin Davies has lost his mojo. He’ll score on Saturday though. He always does.

So as we hammer in our fifth of the afternoon, spare a thought for your usually present blogger, who’ll be God knows where, doing God knows what, all in the name of a good old fashioned single man send off. I’ll trust the lilywhite lovelies to handle this one unsupervised.

I can smell the dirty pint already. 5-2 is my ludicrous prediction.

That’s The Stuff, Tottenham

Oh yes Tottenham, that’s the stuff. That’s the ruddy stuff.

Best result of the season that, all things considered. To lose VdV was a bit of a blow, but to have Modders pull out at the last moments could have potentially been very damaging. Not these days though, in came a passed-fit Jermain Defoe and possibly the only man associated with the club who isn’t over the moon about the form of Captain Combover, our favourite pube-haired Brazilian, Sandro.

The wisest of the pre-match tweets I managed to catch was one calling for patience. As Mulumbu gave both King and Kaboul the ‘oooh, what’s that over there?’, it was to become a mantra. Judging from the reports, it would seem that me and my old man, who’d come round to watch us on a wonky stream, were the only ones to think that being level at half-time was just about fair, as, according to Auntie, we were lucky to not be at least seven down. Blinkered vision aside, the second half was quite the onslaught, with chance after chance going begging; Adebayors 9 attempts on goal being the most from any one player in a Premier League game for 5 and a half years. Rare profligacy then, from a chap whose overall contribution and influence on this side has been so vast, you can forgive him record-breaking levels of fluffery on occasion. The important columns will say that he’s a striker with 4 goals in 2 games and that he’s on fire. Streaky he may be in the finishing stakes at present, but… sleeky, in everything else. Yeah.

And so to Defoe, who’s been subjected to some not always unjust criticism here at ISS, but who was pretty decent on Saturday. I maintain that VdV is the better technician, the better footballer, the one who will make more difference over the course of an entire campaign, so if he’s fit, he should start ahead of, and not with, Defoe. Like Keane before him, VdV has already worked out that the pair of them don’t work together in the same side, but also, that he has something different to offer. If you want someone with a great awareness, technical nous, and the ability to bring others into the game, Defoe will be found wanting all day long. If however, you need a striker to make half a yard of room and tonk a ball really, really hard in the direction of the opposition’s goal, then he’s Jermain man. Like your main man, but jer-main man. Brilliant, eh? Sometimes you need the half a yard and tonk it-type player to start a game. Most of the time you don’t. A tad unfair as that hit was a thing of beauty, and at a time when we were very much in need of making the dominance count, so credit where it’s due... that lay off from Ade was tip-top.

Like a conscientious school nurse, I’m merely nit-picking. The overall display of resilience, patience and, above all, quality, was a joy to behold. Make no mistake fellow spursers, this is no rag-tag bunch of ball kickers putting together ‘a bit of a run’, this is a well drilled, focused, balanced, talented and hard working group with real belief . The #WWWWDWWWWW streak has had a bit of everything, with the trip to the baggies providing a fair summation of what we’ve seen so far. There’s a long way to go, but for the first time in my Spurs conscious lifetime, this lot are on the right road to achieving something a bit good.

Merry flippin’ Christmas, and Happy Birthday to 'I Spurs so', which was a year old on Saturday. How fitting.

Boing Boing At Woy Boy’s Baggie’s

Greetings Hebrews and Shebrews.

Apparently we were quite good on Monday. Apparently? I was there, we WERE good. Perhaps the sensation of winning with no fear of letting it slip caused this out of body, not quite of this world feeling. Being in it but not of it, as Stevie once said. ‘You know that place between sleep and awake? That’s where I’ll always love you’. The calm coursed around the huddled masses like a katamine laced breeze. Is this what it’s like to be a Man United fan?

Luka van der Bale was a joy, as was Kaboul who got in the way of everything, and Adebayor claimed his just reward for the tireless work he’s been putting in every game of his ‘goal drought’. Favourite moment of the night? In the aftermath of our opening goal, Captain Combover and The King, strolling back to their own half, patting each others backs and engaged in focused conversation, while the rest of the young pups celebrated together in the corner. It said it all. It was beautiful.

The boing, boing baggies then? Not so much boing, boing as, you know, something that’s lost its elasticity. Perished underwear lining, or an old persons skin perhaps? Not in a bad way you understand, just, you know, less likely to get relegated. Steady Eddie Woy Boy seems to have forgotten his ‘pool drowning and picked up where he left off at Fulham by bringing in some decent, if unspectacular footballers, and getting them to play ever so slightly above themselves. Their best performances of the season have come in narrow defeats at the hands of United and Chelski on the opening days, which should serve as a warning to those with ideas of walking the walk, that they will be itching to get their hands on the new darlings of the Premier League column fillers, our Hotspurious Gentlemen of Totteringham.

If we are to keep our own catapulted form in flight, we’ll have to keep an eye on the lad Long, who scored in both of WBA’s previously mentioned narrow losses, with  Mulumbu and Odemwingie also appearing as the types of players who would relish showing what they’re made of by getting a goal or two and drinking some of that sweet, sweet reflected media darling nectar. There’ll be no boinging for us should we come up short, just a big ground-thudding comedy ‘zlott!’ and a severely bruised rump.

I reckon we’ll be ok, Lawro’s got us down for a draw after all. Let’s go for 1-3.

Thrilla With The Villa

Anyone see that Valencia v Real Madrid game on Saturday night? Well I’ll be damned if it wasn’t one of the finest pieces of footballing entertainment my kickball weary peepers have seen in a long time. Yes, there was diving and play acting, but transcending that was a game of incredible drama and quality that the EPL is simply incapable of conjuring up. Ronaldo was on a different planet at times, not least in his solo effort that proved to be the winner in Real’s 2-3 win, and Soldado? If he’s even approaching available, he’d improve any side on these shores.

Spurs, of course, will attempt to show off their own brand of quality, and inevitably present a modicum of drama as well tonight, as we take on our 4-4 Thrilla with the Villa opponents from a few seasons back, as the men of Aston roll into town to cross swords with, City aside, the league’s form team. Who, us? Why, yes.

Not sure there’s any doubt that Villa will come for a point by packing the middle and waiting for Darren Bent to run onto something or other. It’s not a whole new approach, but it’s one we’ve had only mild success with in recent times, so we’ll need to have heeded the lessons of the past, and if they’re all fit, it’s the same team that beat Fulham that should be on show. 4-4-2, at home, away or on neutral ground is dinosauric, so no trying to lever Defoe in for this one please.

We should have far too much for them, but McLeish nearly got a point with Birmingham on the final day of last term; only conspiring forces elsewhere forced him to open up and eventually allow us to win it. He’ll be banking on the same master plan tonight, with better players, so we’ll need to be pretty darn good.

Spurs by the odd goal says I, but I’ve come over all Newcastle in the immediate lead up and horribly envisage a point. Hope that’s incorrect.

England- Our Starting 11 For The Euro Finals

Internationals then, so what better time to blurt out some poorly thought out rhetoric on what we should be doing with our national game? For the record, I’m one of many Ingerland fans that have become so sick of the hype and farce that consistently plagues our national game that I actively avoid watching. Well, unless it’s on ITV or something, and the only other offering is ‘Kirstie Weaves Tampons From Her Pubes Then Makes A Balls Up Of Baking a Cake and Acts Like It’s The Worst Thing To Happen Since That Earthquake That Killed Loads Of People’. Maybe then I’ll consider giving them a watch… and even then, I find myself happier when the opposition score. So yeah, not a big fan of the England.

However, in an effort to re-engage wiv the narshnal game, I’m going to offer my two pence worth on what, injuries permitting, the team should be to start the first group game next summer. A lot of my theory is based around what a friend of mine said before the England v USA match; our opening group game in the 2010 World Cup if you’ll recall, when there was a big debate over who should get the nod in goal. While most were championing Green or James, he was convinced it should be Joe Hart, based on the fact that we know what the other 2 can offer, and they’re ‘decent’, but Joe Hart had the potential to be a star and take the tournament by storm, a la Paul Gascoigne 1990 if you like. We all know what happened next, and while Hart might have been lucky in hindsight  not to be associated with the ensuing fiasco, he could equally have been the difference between finishing top or second in the group, meaning we avoided the Germans, full of vim and youthful vigour, who tore us apart. We still wouldn’t have won, but perhaps we’d have done a little better? Also, a huge shift in mentality is needed more than anything, so get the ‘golden generation’ out and freshen up the thinking. My other key assumption is that we’re not good enough to win it, but what a perfect opportunity to restore a bit of pride, and lay the foundations for a side that might one day challenge.

A 4-5-1 formation not only makes sense in terms of our personnel, but when you come up against the better sides, none of them will be employing 2 strikers, and possession in the middle is absolutely vital. If we had Shearer and Owen in top form, there’s a case to be made for 2 forwards, but when Darren Bent’s being considered the best option in the absence of Rooney, less is more in this area.

Finally, as Einstein once said, the definition of insanity is: ‘’doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results’’.

So, for what it’s worth, here’s what I reckon:

Goalkeeper- Joe Hart, Man City. Pretty obvious. He’s not just the only realistic option… Actually, that’s exactly what he is. No debate.

Right Back- Kylie Walker, Totteringhams. A little defensively naïve? Perhaps, but, ya know, whatever. He’s great at bombing on. With the role of the full back having developed into that of an auxiliary winger at the highest level, a season at Spurs under his belt should prepare him nicely for this role in the white of England. Plus, I’ll be putting a couple of defensive midfielders in so he’ll be covered. Don’t worry about it.

Centre Backs- Phil Jones and Chris Smalling, Man U. They’re young, and they’re really good. If they’re good enough as the future of United, they’re good enough for this tournament. Also means the repugnant dog Terry won’t be seen in an England shirt again, a good 80% of the reason I can’t bring myself to support the current lot.

Left back- Ashley Cole, Chelski. Yes, he’s a deeply unpleasant human being as well, and features somewhere in the remaining 20% of reasons to dislike the current side, but he’s a brilliant left back, of that there can be little argument. Perhaps with a little more responsibility keeping the rest of them in order, knowing this could be his final hurrah, he could come back a national hero without wasting money on Max Clifford’s services.

Defensive Midfielder 1- Jack Wilshere, The Goonies. *shudder* Can’t bring myself to eulogise too much but tenacity, ability to push on, clever ‘recycling’ of possession… Unfortunately, he’s just really good at football and could play this role for years to come *chokes on own vomit*. Besides, he’ll be helped through by the magnificent…

Defensive Midfielder 2 and CAPTAIN- Lord Scott Parker aka Captain Combover of Hotspurshire. He’s 30 with about 4 caps, but we all know that’s not the full story. He’s everything that the England team should embody- hard working, honest, family man, clean cut, black boots, no-nonsense tackling, lion hearted, with total commitment to the shirt. Without wanting to slip too deeply into Harry parody, if this guy was the figurehead of the side, wouldn’t it make getting behind this lot a far more pleasant experience? A slight bias perhaps, but if he replicates his club form in the summer, I defy any football fan not to fall in love. He does have REALLY nice hair as well.

Right (not wing) Midfield- Ashley Young, Man U. Predominantly left-sided perhaps, but such a good, clever player that we can use him here. I was tempted to put Beckham in (no foolies), what with him probably still being the most technically gifted English player about, but I’m going for slight-tongue-in-cheek, and that might just take me into the realms of full on parody.

Left (not wing) Midfield- Adam Johnson, Man C. Young, fast and good at football. Let him at ‘em. If Beckham plays (I’m talking myself into this), play Young here.

Free role behind the lone forward- Stevie Gerrard, Liverpiddle. Hang on, what was that you were saying about the golden generation being tinned? Hear me out, we’re in baby and bathwater territory now. Unlike all of the others, Gerrard has never performed to his very best at international level. He's threatened to ‘do it’ on a number of occasions, but never quite made it, and one theory is that it’s the result of him constantly being dropped behind 2 forwards. He’s not disciplined enough to play right, left or centre, and ‘do a job’, but that doesn’t make him a bad player- just an enigma, and this solves it. The best period of his career, arguably, was playing a support/free role for a livewire forward, Torres, and this boy is too talented to not be given a fair crack at being the attacking fulcrum of what will be a brave young side.

One up top- Daniel Sturridge, Chelski. We’ve tried Defoe, Bent, Crouch and a cavalcade of others, and while they’ll fairly point to goals-per-games, top-level experience and all that jazz, they’ve had enough time to prove conclusively that they’re just not that great. Not bad, but they don’t have that something special that separates the Darren Bent’s from the David Villa’s of this world. Sturridge just might. He's super raw, but has already displayed enough of that magic to warrant a go in this fantasy fledgling side.

As for the rest of the squad, while I’m theoretically tempted to leave out Rooney, what with him being an interminable twit and all, if I was Fabio, faced with this real life decision, there’s no way I could leave him behind… but if Sturridge does the business, ol’ pluggy can sit it out. Cahill, Richards, Gibbs, (Ledley?), Ferdinand as defensive cover, Milner, Agbonlahor, Rodwell and Wellbeck  thrown in? Andy Carroll? I dunno, hadn’t thought this far ahead and frankly, I'm already out of my depth.

Expect to see Lampard, Barry and Terry all starting.

But what do you think?

Another Win: Thoughts on Our Opening 10

Seriously, how many more ways of saying ‘unspectacular, but job done’ are there?

Not one for a recovering heart surgery patient this, but we were resilient and gritty in the face of a pretty determined opponent; the moments of quality from the first half and a bit of outrageous fortune at the death (Defoe’s deflection, not young Kylie’s ‘handball’) meant it was another one of those where the score line didn’t tell the whole story, to coin that oft-pedalled cliché. Or any of it really. If the score line was made into a book, it would have read ‘once, 2 teams played football and one of them won 3-1. The end’. I can’t see it bothering the upper reaches of the Amazon bestsellers list, but you know what, even if the whole thing was eulogised over, it can’t all be Dickens. I’ll take a bit of Spot the Dog away from home. But then we’ve only been Shakespearean in small doses throughout the season, and we eventually need to be penning a few more classics to be contenders… but then even the wordsmiths’ of City succumbed to the Fulham scribes, so we can’t complain too much. Where was I?

Lovely goal from Lenny, even if he did fade in the second half, and young Bareth seems to be re-discovering the form he was showcasing all over Europe this time last year. Special mention to BBB who deservedly got the prestigious sky viewers man of the match award. If that’s what yoga and pilates can do for you into your forties, you’ll forgive me if I invest in lycra, smoke some peace candles, and change my name to ‘Tree’.

With the internationals set to step into the limelight over the next couple of weeks, what are your thoughts on how our opening 10 games have gone? Personally, I’m delighted at how we’ve recovered from those first 2, but still unconvinced by our level of performance, and think we’ve been the benefactors of a general downturn in the quality of the ‘lesser’ lights of the Premier League. Away wins at Wolves, Wigan, Blackburn and now Fulham have been fantastic, but I can’t help but feel we’ve not been as stretched as we might have been in previous visits. Or perhaps we really are more resilient? Indeed, I can’t think of any real ‘shocks’ so far, with the exception of Blackburn v Arsenal, but then both sides were playing terribly at the time, and the margin of victory reflected how it could have been either one of them cocking it up by the end. A creditable draw for Fulham against Man City is the only other stand-out that springs to mind of a ‘mid-table’ team raising their game. Newcastle, or, more-than-the-sum-of-their-parts United, with a squad of comparable individuals to those they’re meant to be competing with, have gone back to basics and found a way of getting past the less spectacular sides, to become the most spectacular of them all. A little thought and a lot of effort that the others have been unable to match. What do you reckon?

Is The Redknapp Heart Surgery Story a Cover Up For The Court Case?

Unverified of course, but this was posted by 'Steve' on the last blog not half an hour ago:

''here's another more worrying debate. apparently harry is due in court this week (mandaric has already been in over last 2 weeks), over tax evasion.
there's an injunction out while they're appealing it. but the word is that there's a real chance of a prosecution.
really hope this isnt true. but it's widely known this court case was imminent. apparently HMRC want to make an example and go for the full punishment.

he's 'coincidently' got a medical problem this week.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/15549314.stm


this would be bigger than lasagne-gate. we're playing so well at the moment, i'd hate for it to be jeopardised due to what went on at portsmouth! ''

My sentiments exactly, let's hope this is nothing more sinister than a minor op.

It’s The Century: The Time Travelling Adventures of Captain Combover

We won? Again? I didn’t sign up for this when I started out 100 POSTS ago. Where is the Ramos depression- enducing complaint fodder? Boat well and truly missed, this ‘we won but it wasn’t spectacular’ era is becoming rather tiresome.

Let’s be honest, without the shoddy finishing, we could have been talking about a Wiganesque 9-1 score line yesterday, what with the way we begun, on a temperate autumnal Sunday afternoon, and even the colour of the oppositions kit being evocative of that fateful day. We should have had at least twice as many goals as we finished with, BUT, the Spurs go marching on and all that, a win’s a win, don’t eat cheese before bedtime, spirit of the blitz etcetera etcetera.

I didn’t see Match of the Scratch last night, but reports suggest they were rather glowing in their praise of our lilywhite heroes, with talk of a top 3 finish being thrown in there for good measure. Hmmmm. If you had a big shop selling only one product, I’d say you’d be pretty tempted to go loopy over it as well. Similarly, if you’re an MOTD2 producer with only one game to look at, you might sit back, pray for goals and incident, and generally over egg it when it came to examining the games finer points. Salt pinching of the large variety with last nights love in I shouldn’t wonder.

Still, what you wouldn’t have needed an enthusiastic programme editor to make obvious was how good Captain Combover was yesterday, or indeed ‘The Harry Redknapp ‘I Told You So’ Experience’, to appreciate that the guy really is a fantastic performer, and surely one of the buys of the window. 8 million for a 30 year old? Bargain. And speaking of evocation, far from the usual clichés, a comparison with a Spurs great of old was thrown in, with Harry tentatively comparing young Scottsdale to Dave Mackay. Unfortunately, I’m not qualified to pass comment on the influence or ability with which Dave played the game, but there’s no doubt that Parker was ‘immense’ yesterday, so perhaps Harry’s not a million miles off? With his, frankly, rabid determination, the biggest fear with him would have to be burnout, but while he’s only being asked to play one game a week, and with Sandro waiting eagerly in the wings, we look in good shape. Winning mentality (in depth) in the middle of the grass. Oh yes.

VdV continued his now record-equalling scoring run as well. Only Teddy and Bob Keane have previously scored in 5 games in a row for the Totters in EPL history (therefore, EVER), so next weeks trip to Fulham could be a record breaker. I wonder if anyone is still feeling sorry for Defoe? Mind you, would have been nice to see him for half an hour at the end. His flat-track bullying might well have been what we needed to improve that GD. Small issues though, Rumbly Cousins to look forward to on Thursday.

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Hurricane Totters Expected, and The Judicial Reforms of AVB

Another week of Tottenhaming where we’ve not made too many splashes, what with us being out of the Lager Pot and all. We’ve not had any pictures of one of our number stumbling out of Faces on the arms of one of the TOWIE’s, or even a bonkers quote from one of the staff to cringe over, so it’s been left to our contemporaries to keep the headline writers in a job; most notably, old Jonathan Terrance.

Are there any words we’ve not yet used to describe our nations Captain and former Dad of the Year? I like ‘putrid’. It’s not used enough for my liking, and certainly springs to mind when I’m unlucky enough to catch a glimpse of him staring out at me from the back page of another commuter’s currant, or to overhear his name uttered by some news outlet or other. Whether he’s guilty or not, I’ll let the hastily deleted video evidence speak for itself. Most ludicrous of all was 80’s teen heart throb Rick Astley, aka Ond-resh Vee-Ash Bow-Ash coming out and saying ‘’He’s said he didn’t do it, so the matter’s closed’’. I applaud Mini-M(ourinho)e for his calm and reasoned logic, and look forward to his approach to judicial procedures being adopted by legal institutions throughout the world.

Judge: Says here you’ve committed several brutal murders and there’s a stack of evidence to prove that you’re indeed guilty. How do you plead?

Defendant: Not guilty.

Judge: Fair enough. Sorry to have wasted your time chief. Everyone go home, it’s all sorted. Case closed.

Subject to his ‘head being right’, or other equally limp reasons we’re sometimes given for footballers not doing their jobs, alleged abusee Anton Ferdinand and his hoopey friends at quipper will be showing up on our doorstep Sunday afternoon. It won’t be a slap up roast they’ll be after though, oh no, they’ve got a taste for that most rarefied of all the dishes from the top table, of 3 away points, following their unlikely victory over the aforementioned and his deeply unpleasant orkine bretheren.

In all honesty, their victory last week came in the eye of a perfect storm- being (rightly) awarded an early penalty, a disciplinary implosion from a side that are always capable of their snarling physicality spilling over, but rarely going the whole way, followed by a desperate rearguard action (not a reference my own Sunday lunch efforts) to hold on for all 3. Anything less than Hurricane Totters destroying their green shoots of optimism come tea time, and we’ll all be most disappointed. Their form so far suggests they tend to win small or lose big. I have a feeling it could be the latter, and Ade to get back to scoring form. He’s not scored for, like, 4 league games. Don’t give me all that assist and movement rubbish, any more non-scoring and he’s getting an almighty booing. It’s only fair.

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van der Vaart? van der BRILLIANT, more like

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Another dog of an opponent and a dog of a performance, but not for the first time, we were resilient (lucky) enough to sneak out of there with 3 points. On 90 minutes, it felt like we were being beaten in every way a team could possibly be beaten… other than in the way that matters most. An equaliser would not have been unjust, and if that’s a group of players who don’t fancy putting in a bit of an effort for Steve, I’d hate to see them with their blood up.

Horrible and heart-stopping as it was to watch an aerial bombardment follow every set piece or sloppy foul conceded, imagine if someone had told you in the mid nineties that Tottenham would be 3-1-1 from their first 5 away games of a season at potentially tricky, craggy northern outposts? Whatever your thoughts on the man, Harry deserves a lot of credit in instilling ‘mental toughness’, and other such immeasurables. More credit has to go to Van der Vaart for yesterday though, his class making a match winning difference.

As far as I’m concerned, he should play in support of Ade whenever fit and available, no matter what the form of the flag botherer. That’s because, simply put, he’s a better football player; a special talent I’ve heard mooted in the last few days. A bit twee? Yes? Spot on? Yes. He’s scored the opener in our last 4 league games, 3 of which have been away from home. Any lingering thoughts about him being a luxury, a tactical conundrum, or in any way dispensable at this stage are well wide of the mark. But what was the blood on his neck all about?

Also, Bassong as a long-termer is looking less and less likely. He might need to get through QPR at home on Sunday, but let’s hope that after that we’ve got one of Dawson/King/Gallas available for Fulham away and beyond.

Slackburn RollOvers

I’m becoming further convinced with each passing week that Harry and the headline writers are the antithesis of footballing symbiosis. Harry can’t fart without the papers doing a 4 page spread dedicated to its various intricacies, just as Harry himself appears averse to diplomacy. The oracle has spoken and the verdict is in. Foreign ownership= bad. All things disrupting the status quo= bad. A peanut for the dancing monkey. Mr No Nonsense Englishman with your half-time cuppa  sir, what do you think of foreign ownership and their plans to scrap relegation and promotion? *jig jig jig* Not for me, nah, won’t work will it?

Poor Harry, hoisted by his own ability to summarise a complex issue with a string of hesitant monosyllabic responses, yet somehow put it all in a perfect bite size press nugget. Still, I have sympathy; rather that than bland clichés. His celebrity has grown to a point where he’s asked on everything, and it’s recycled to the nth to reach a point where us Tottenham talk trawlers are treated to a new viewpoint on a daily basis. We now cross live to Harry for his thoughts on Gaddafi’s demise, and reaction to last night’s dinner. Happy to oblige.

Blackburners away then. Winning run put to bed by a combination of poor decision making, and a lush hit from men who’ve never really managed to build on the promise of their early careers, what better place to get back on track than at bottom of the pile Rovers? Let’s face it, they’re bobbins, and will almost certainly go down unless the Indian Bernard Matthews give the Steve Stone look-a-like the heave-ho before too much longer. The only way they should be able to compete with us is physically, but with Parker and, almost certainly, Sandro in the middle and Kaboul at the back, I can’t see us getting out-muscled by anyone, and we should have way too much for them.

A good night’s work in the Ropey then? Carroll was rather good, Lennon got better as the game went on, Giovani looked OK, Defoe was offside a lot, and Pav’s goal was a beaut’. I had a ticket, but when the offer of a score in exchange for it came in, I couldn’t say no. WHL is a special place when it’s full and there’s any sort of ‘bite’ in either the crowd, lilywhites or the opposition, but having sat through Hearts and Shamrock already this year, I was more than happy to switch on the gogglebox and enjoy it in (channel 5) HD with tea and a pack of fig rolls. I even wore slippers. What have I become?

A Trip To Toon Town

Alright etcetera

*insert moan about the international break*

Now that’s out of the way, we’ve got a game involving the Totters on Sunday, and I for one am not overcome with optimism. Maybe it’s the increasingly chilly Autumn days, or the fact my local High Street has become over run with pet retail projects for the #TOWIE gang that’s got me in a bad mood, but Sundays coach trip worries. It’s probably neither of those reasons as it goes, my reluctance to predict a positive outcome probably stems more from Hotspur related factoids than the inclement weather or vanity employment.

My tempered words upon conclusion of our summer business were as follows:

‘’Adebayor…pretty much walks in as being the first name on the team sheet. Picture this though…he’s on the end of a crunching challenge and he gets his leg broken. What are we going to do now? Defoe and Pavlyuchenko to carry the responsibility of getting our goals? Verdict (on our forward positions): Improvement, as long as Adebayor stays fit.’’

Tool-ey quoting of myself aside, he may not have had his leg broken, but it certainly looks as if the hammy he picked up against the Wanderers will keep him out against the Toon, and even if he does play, his mobility is bound to be tempered and is a risk for a full on tear… leaving us to ponder Defoe and/or the Russian to perform different shades of uselessness in lilywhite, especially as VdV also looks a doubt. There is no plan B. We can’t even call upon Crouchy. Either Adebayor is fit or we’re unlikely to pose much of a threat, and it’s games like this where the gloss of the flashy goal bagging toy boy quickly disappears, and where unbeaten stretches are thrown into far more forensic arenas.

The news that Sandro will miss out as well doesn’t do us any favours, as our plans away from home, formed around Parker, a man we seem determined to run into the ground, seem to be to stay ‘gritty’ and provide shielding for the CB’s in the middle, whilst relying on a flash of magic from one of Adebayor, VdV or Bale to win the day. At least there aren’t any question marks over Gareth’s involvement.

Newcastle have been on something of a roll themselves this season. Despite not playing any of the likely ‘top 4’ (yes, I know they played the Wanderers on match day 1), a seven game undefeated run in the league is not be sniffed at. We all smiled wryly, as their game at Villa Park was billed as (possibly the least convincing) 2 undefeated sides going head to head, but far from fading from that potential high, they’ve got some good wins and looked to have strengthened to the point of not being relegation fodder. Our own 4 game winning run probably holds the same level of fear for them, but aside from a very good showing against Liverpool and excellent first half at Wigan, we’ve spluttered rather than sparkled through the other 2.5 games in that winning sequence, with the NLD being a triumph based on better playing staff and greater belief, rather than the tactical out-foxing bamboozlement we all hoped for.

Assuming all the doubts don’t make it, and assuming we’ll go with Defoe on his own up front, I’m going to guess a 4 (Walker, King, Kaboul, BAE)- 2 (Parker, Livermore)- 1 (Modders)- 2 (Bale, Kranjcar?/Townsend?) and said offside flag botherer.

Given what we’re missing, I’d be happy with a point.

Tottenham Beat Arsenal *sigh*

Job done. A routine victory against inferior opposition? No way. It’s never routine.

First things first. That formation wasn’t particularly clever, bearing in mind we were lining up against a team of decent technicians who play with 5 across the middle and like to move it about. I sort of got the logic in that we were at home, and the onus was on us to be positive, but looking at it made me knackered on Parker’s behalf before a ball was kicked. By the time he was finally spared doing overtime, the guy was dead on his feet, and if he’s overloaded like that much more, we’re going to break him.

Today, 4-4-2 looked positively prehistoric, and should be a plan B at best, with Defoe being the man to miss out, and VdV, the better footballer, playing behind Adebayor in a 3, in front of Parker and Sandro. Indeed, the only time Rafa broke away from his nominal right-wing shackles, he found himself on the end of a lovely ball from Adebayor to score the games opening goal. There were times in the first half when Arteta had so much space to drift around in, we made him look like bleedin’ Fabregas. THAT’S how bad that 4-4-2 was.

We won this game, not by out-playing or out-thinking them, but purely because we had better players, in better form playing with greater belief. A ravenous home support may have also helped.

5 years ago I’d have taken any kind of victory against this lot. Not today though. It was the best opportunity in recent memory to really establish ourselves as the dominant force in our corner of London, and while it would be hard for anyone to say we’re not in front of them at this stage, the seismic shift that could and should have occurred today will have to wait for another time. Which is why this victory, while excellent in all it’s pointleyness, is tinged with just a little regret.

Still, nice hit from Kylie.

Crash, Bang, Wallop! What a Derby!

Having read back my pre-match ramble for what turned out to be the 3-3 game last year, I was tempted to copy, paste and pass it off as original work. Not just because I’m a lazy sod biscuit, but because it’s still relevant. But I won’t. You can read it HERE if you like though.

So we rock into this fixture as favourites. Something that hasn’t happened since… that 3-3 last year actually, but if you believe the hype, it’s been a dogs age since such a footballing planetary alignment took place. Unbeaten since 2009 and 1 defeat in the last 6 means we’ve rightly earned our mantle.

Anyone see their last away performance? Blackburn are a terrible side. The arse were worse, and if they’re even twice as good as they were that day come 4pm today, we should win handsomely. Tempting as it is to write them off however, they’ve still got a couple of lads that, given the opportunity, can hurt us, and we’ll need a Liverpool-level performance to win this. Van Persie needs isolating, and a 5 man midfield of Parker and Sandro holding, with Gareth Van Der Modders supporting Adebayor should achieve just that, causing them more than enough problems in return.

Their other remaining bastion of all that it means to represent the goons, young Wilshere has been rushed in for emerging facial surgery to try and prevent his incessantly lolling tongue escaping his mouth completely. Jackson, for those of you who haven’t read any of his 140 character witticisms, has been known to have as many digs at Tottenham, as 4 letter tirades at taxi drivers. Fair play though, it’s been a while since there has been such a partisan employee on their books. It makes it a lot easier to dislike him, and I for one will miss a bit of the pantomime these types bring to the table. Still, I suppose it means there’s now even more stage for our number 10 to perform upon.

Speaking of receptions, and pantomime villainey, a little bird tells me that the unspeakable one will be performing punditry duties for the sky sport screeneries. That’ll be… nice.

3-1 to the Totters.

Wigan Combed Over

And the Spurs go marching on.

There’s something very unnerving about being widely tipped to win a game of football as a Tottenham fan, especially when that game is away from home. Even Mark ‘Lawro’ Lawrenson had us down for a win.

The first half was, at times, luscious. Illness/headphone related injury had ruled Defoe out of action before KO, but with Rafa ready to step up to replace him; it meant that on paper, it was probably our best side. Personnel wise at least, if not formation fluidity wise. Not that we showed any signs of struggling with a newish set up as we set about proving that sending out quality footballers with a will to win generally gets the job done.

Bale was excellent for a second game in a row, appearing to have remembered that running at defenders usually equals chances for us, and his glanced header was a thing of beauty. Sandro still isn’t fully fit, but showed enough to remind us of what he’s all about, and Captain Combover had the most touches (106) of any player in the Premier League this weekend, according to Garth Crooks and his team of the week. I’m no fan of stats, but that one summed up nicely the effect he’s had since his arrival.

Modric was quiet, having been deployed at right of centre, we were unable to fully adapt to Wigan’s half-time shuffle, and we didn’t really figure out how to play against 10-men for the second week in a row, are mere grumbles and not anything to lose sleep over. We’re nicely poised for a good go on Sunday. Interesting will be whether Sandro makes do with a start from the bench, what with it being a home game ‘n’ all, or whether Krankie and Defoe will return for VdV and the blue haired beast.

One other thing that caught the eye this weekend. Following our erstwhile goal getting umbrella man scoring against United on Saturday, young Crouchy, having missed a couple of other decent efforts by all accounts, made the following snarling, ruthless and vitriolic statement:

‘’I could have got the winner, but then you can't be greedy’’

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah.

Cup Shruggery and Wigan Away

Tom Carroll see's Tuesday night's team sheet

Just another toe-tappingly dull week as a Spurs fan then? Not on your nelly guv, plenty to pump up the thermostat, even if the on-pitch fare wasn’t exactly hot tamale.

It would appear only a handful of us got a full picture of what really happened up in Stoke, but encouraging consensus seems to be that young Tom ‘Tommy’ Carroll continued to impress; his wee Charlie Bucket stature belying his obvious ability to kick footballs at a high standard. Jake Livermore was impressive, and descriptions of ‘immense’ have been directed at the Atomic Kaboul. So that’s good. Less said about Gomes, GDS and Pav the better, is my understanding. The result and subsequent penalty shoot-out defeat was disappointing, but seems to have given way to a rather heated debate in some forums about what the cup’s mean to us.

None of us like to see our lads lose, but I can’t say I was particularly devastated. I was lucky enough to be at the ar5ena1 game, and the Wembley final, and can assure you there was no one who went more potty than I at Berbatov, Woody and the final whistle, but like all things, it’s relative. At that point in time, a domestic trophy was a great achievement and the best we could have hoped for following an alarming neglect of our league commitments from the hapless Spaniard, so the celebrations reflected that. It was the circumstances of our position and opposition that made that cup win so special. As for now, we find ourselves with a decent chance of finishing in the top 4 again, meaning potential Champions League qualification, and all the riches and exotically named opponents that come with it. It may not be represented in the form of silverware, but it’s the only thing that really matters to a club with our aspirations.

The league must always be our priority. In order to thrive in the league we need to attract the best players, who invariably want the best pay days which only a Champions League run can fund, and to play against Europe’s best. Tell a coveted target you won the Carling Cup last year and look at their reaction. Tell them you can offer them Champions League football and see the difference. All these steps are towards the ultimate aim (realistic or not) of winning the league, and if the Carling and Ropey cups are sacrificed along the way, so be it.

With that out of the way, Wigan are next up at a ground where we’ve not exactly been prolific over the years. They lie 15^th in the table, and bearing in mind who they’ve had to play so far, they’d probably hope to have a few more points on board. Tottenham meanwhile have lost a couple of games they were likely to lose, and won their 2 winable ones. So a bit unspectacular all round, but it is us with the momentum after a dominant showing at home last week, still riding the wave of optimism that Captain Combover and Ade’s signature’s have brought to the side. Sandro’s back, and his potential incorporation is an interesting point to ponder.

My feeling is that the experimentation with Bale on the right has been preparation for Harry to play Parker and Sandro in the middle away from home, with Luka moving left and Gareth right, making us nice and compact (narrow) and the full backs providing the width. Ultimately, I think he see’s VdV playing behind Ade, but has alluded to starting Defoe again, following his 2 in 2 return (and he likes a goal against the Wiganista’s), so can see Sandro for Krankie being the only change.

We only need one goal. Ledley’s fit so we won’t concede. 0-2 for the Totters.

Back on Track

Hi Chums. Apologies for the radio silence, the general haphazardry of life is the only excuse I can muster. Had I had the chance however, my pre-game guff would basically have been: I’d be gutted with anything less than 3 points.

Looking at the betting before the game, I noticed we were 13/8. I also noticed Liverpool were 13/8… so effectively, taking out the home advantage, the bookies saw the ‘pool as a better side. They don’t often get it wrong, so on this occasion, my unusually bullish pre-match mood, mixed with a little wounded harrumphing had me reet up for it I tell thee. As luck would have it, so were our lilywhite lummoxes, and even with a full compliment of players in opposition for the whole game, the result, if not the score line, would have been exactly the same.

Indeed, after Kenny’s allusion to a few perceived injustices, he eventually backed down and conceded that we were simply a lot better than them. ‘We can talk about those decisions another time’, or something to that effect. Is that perhaps because there’s pretty much no debate about any of the cards your chaps received? Shall we pencil in a chat next week about it? No, didn’t think so. His eventual concession was his only saving grace- if he thinks refereeing played any part in their downfall, he’d be doing a massive disservice to the ‘pool fans that had to sit through their pasting.

Banana and custard, cheese and pickle, Bodger and Badger. Great double acts from down the years, and with the relentless heel-snapping of Captain Combover, and the craft of the little Croatian in the middle, it looks like they might just be on their way to joining them. The former is a breath of fresh air, comprising, the guile and leadership that we’ve been missing for too long in the same package, and the latter… that goal celebration didn’t look like it came from a deeply unhappy individual. He can do it for Croatia AND Tottenham. Marvellous.

Nice one Gareth, running beyond his full back helped us out immeasurably in pulling them out of shape. More of the same please lad. Adebayor’s great isn’t he? If he’s not scoring goals with clinical accuracy, he’s giving great interviews and being generally endearing. How nice it is to see a forward with a first touch and moving about with a bit of intelligence.

Generally excellent throughout, with another special mention for Ledders who is just a freak of nature. According to management, he doesn’t kick a ball all week, has a little jog for 10 minutes on a Friday morning and that’s enough to see him through 90 minutes of Premier League football. While I’m sure that’s a *bit* of an exaggeration (strength and conditioning work at least?), it’s almost beyond comprehension that he doesn’t train with the squad at all. Imagine if…

Anyway, Stoke tomorrow. More good news see’s Sandro and Gallas in line for a return to first team action, although I’d expect us to largely shield the precious things of the shop for Saturdays coach trip to Wigan.

The Redknapp Review

What’s this? A Spurs blog doing an opinion article on Harry Redknapp? Stone me, whatever next?

But woh there, slow down, you move too fast. Solomon's here. All part of the job. What's going on? No points for originality, but here comes the USP, setting my stall out, getting off the fence and putting my cards on the table. I neither love him or loathe him. Ambivalence is probably the wrong word, but he doesn’t inspire the same levels of anger that seem to drive a number of our lot.

The football world is one of extremes; from the mega money to the micro-analysis of every ball kicked. From the vitriol directed towards the sugar daddies, launching ever more shocking and offensive barb’s towards our North London neighbours, to those sad acts who spend their time slating individuals for a wayward pass in opinion pieces and match reports *cough*. No longer is it enough to say Harry has his good points and bad points, but overall he’s doing a decent job. What sort of supporter are you without blind faith or an allegiance to a lynch mob? If you’re to be taken seriously, make sure you position yourself at one extreme of the scale, or you’re just not paying enough attention. Or you don’t care, and you can faaaaaaaaaaaak off and support the gooners.

We all know he can’t pass a CCTV camera without giving an interview, but what’s the other extreme? A man who gives staccato responses in press conferences, and constantly tows the party line? I wonder what kind of reaction he’d have got from the faithful had he spent all summer saying, Wenger style, that ‘’everything’s fine with Modric. He’s happy, training well, and he won’t be leaving’’. Imagine hearing that every press conference, no elaboration. Praised for his unblinking stubbornness and consistency in the face of such rife speculation? No chance. ‘’You’re a f**kin’ liar Redknapp, we have a right to know what’s going on at our club’’, would probably be a little more like it. The handling of it was far from perfect, but given the choice, I’d choose a little naïve, weary honesty over robotic compliance.

There have, of course been some unfortunate choices of words, the most recent of which described tonight’s Ropey Cup game in Greece as a ‘nuisance’. It’s not that he’s wrong- I have no doubt the guy will have been given the remit of prioritising a top 4 push, and as in any job, all smaller tasks forced upon you that detract from your main charge are usually a nuisance. If you’re a professional about it however, you take it in your stride and negotiate the most efficient way through it by correctly delegating your resources in as low a profile as possible. Perhaps something like ‘it’s a great opportunity to see how the kids respond to European competition etc, etc’’ would be a little more calming, but as already mentioned, if his constant off-the-cuff comments leave us exacerbated more often than we’d like, it’s hardly cause to call for his head. 

He’s got my goat on a number of occasions mind, not least after labelling us all idiots after daring to suggest that drawing at home to Sunderland, West Ham, West Brom, Blackpool etc wasn’t really on. The freedom to throw out such comments must be earned, and the level of criticism of the fan base goes way beyond the remit of anything he’s achieved. As for his ‘love’ (or lack thereof) of the club and the fans, I can live without it if results befitting his levels of expenditure and bravado are being achieved. You can spend big money on the likes of Palacios, Crouch and Bassong (£31 million pounds), talk up title pushes, and criticise the support without reproach if you’re finishing in the top 4 and beating bottom 6 teams at home on a regular basis. When you aren’t, you have to expect a bit of backlash and take it on the chin. Lashing out just make you look a little silly.

Here stands a man who’s very much into the twilight of his career. Previously hailed as a hero for comparatively moderate achievements against a backdrop of even more moderate expectations, he leads Tottenham to 4^th place and a Champions League quarter final, and there’s no statue of him erected on the

Park Lane

. What’s all that about? I can sympathise to an extent. Imagine you’re a runner who’s been expected to run 5 hour marathons your whole life, consistently posted times of 4 hours and told you’re the bee’s knees for doing so. You then take a voluntary step up in class where you’re expected to run it in 3 hours, and through a lot of blood, sweat and tears, and pressure the likes of which you’ve never experienced; you actually manage to hit that 3 hour target. A magnificent achievement on a personal level, but at the finish line, there’s no open top bus parade and delirious fanfare waiting for you, just a round of applause, a warm handshake from your employer, and then being asked ‘do you think you can do it in 2 and a half?’.

I’ve never taken the ‘this is as good as it gets, really’ comment in regards to our CL quarter final appearance and 5^th placed finish as being literal, but as a ceiling that Redknapp himself has set. There’s no doubt that that represented his most successful, eye-catching season in club management, and at the age of sixty-whatever, there will be very few, perhaps only one, more chances to top it. Back to the running analogy, having posted your best ever effort in an ageing frame, would you go about managing expectation, or immediately declare that this is just the start and to expect previously unimagined levels of success, when you’ve got at least one eye on putting your feet up a bit? I don’t believe he meant it’s the best season Tottenham will ever see, it’s just the best he himself is now likely to achieve. Poor choice of words again, and a little misdirection from a man with an agenda to get himself what he feels is his job by right.

The England job, so often cited as a distraction for Redknapp, and used as a stick to beat him with, I can only see as being a potential win-win situation. Despite yesterday’s protestations that there have been no discussions over it, I think we can all read between the lines and assume that, barring a meteoric rise of a currently unfancied outsider, the job will be his, and this year will effectively be his final interview. For Harry, the Tottenham job is a means to an end. He doesn’t love Spurs, but he does love the idea of being England manager. If he can galvanise a supposedly unsettled Tottenham side (an idea he seems to take pleasure in promoting, translating to ‘’I’m holding this lot together, I’m great at dealing with lofty chairmen and lowly players alike’’), and get us to qualify for the Champions League, his case will not only be strengthened, but he can probably name his price as well. The incentives are there for him personally, and if he can do it, he’ll leave us a far more attractive proposition for any new manager or player.

To wrap it up, I think Redknapp is doing a decent job, but with the potential and incentive to do an even better one. Both transparently shrewd, and ill-advised in equal measure when it comes to dealing with the media and supporters, there are still some creases to iron out before next summer’s seemingly inevitable departure, but delivering for Tottenham delivers for Harry… and you know what, I’m fine with that. He’s still the best man for this job. For now.