Real Life Swapsies!

Swapsies- Neeeeeeeeeeeed baaaaaaaaaaadly!!!

No match report. No match. Shall we discuss the weather?

On the plus side, far from being rushed back, the likes of VdV and Kaboul can take a bit more time to recover from injury, and Gallas might also be available for the next game so CB looks covered for now at least.

Also, I don’t have to sit here, find all those pic’s of the players at the Xmas beano and blame our failure to pick up 3 points on this. Pools panel says away win. It’s basically the same as an actual 3 points so I’m happy.

The biggest Totters news would appear to be gossip related in the shape of Newcastle’s finest spit-roaster, Andy Carroll, in exchange for Honest Bob, David Brylcream, 3 metre Peter, a pipe of Pringles and a partridge in a pear tree. And money one would assume? Outside of Champo or Panini stickers, when was the last time a player been swapped in recent memory? I remember Keith Gillespie going to Newcastle as part of the Andy Cole to ManUre deal but I’d struggle to recall too many others. The notion of swap deals in football seems almost laughable, but perhaps with money being a bit tighter, asset swaps and makeweights are the way forward? I’d still be surprised if any such deal went through though.

What is agreed by almost everyone connected with the club is that the squad and wage bill need to be trimmed. For my money, the only 2 who definitely need to move on are Honest Bobert Keane and David Bentley. Krankie appears to be out of favour but I still maintain that Harry’s saving him for later in the campaign, when injuries/suspension take their inevitable toll.

Jamie O’Hara is another being touted for a move, a makeweight in a Scott Parker swap deal. Ah, the Scott Parker transfer. Like Stewart Downing before him, another that just won’t go away, no matter haw much cream I use until he finally goes somewhere else or retires. Some things wot Harry said about it today:

"We haven't made any move for him. Midfield is the only area where I don't have many options, we are really short there.

"I like Parker, but he belongs to West Ham. He will be 31 next birthday and they will want £15million.

"Daniel (Levy, chairman) wouldn't buy players of that age, on big wages with no sell-on."

Breaking news to be taken VERY SERIOUSLY!!!- ManUre are preparing a summer bid of 30m (presumably magic beans as opposed to pounds sterling) for Modders (who’s just signed a new 5-year deal)- with Anderson (who’s just signed a new 5-year deal), Carrick (who ManUre bought from us for 18m) and/or Gibson(?) being used as makeweights. God bless pre-transfer window silly season.