What Is The Point In Aston Villa?

Who's in charge today?

A question posed to me once several years back. Like Paul Merson being asked to tie shoelaces, I could only stare back blankly, sans solution. More recent encounters have put paid to that, with them being involved in our famous 125 year celebratory 4-4 draw (the one with our Laughing Cow Light kit), a couple of hard fought draws up in the Midlands, and a few very similar point hauls from our respective campaigns had set us up as rivals. Another of those ‘top 6 but not quite top 4’ teams which we were until last season.

Still bitter at the manner and timing of his departure, the Martin O’Neill-less Villa fans will not want to admit it, but a return to mid-table mediocrity from whence they came, certainly seems to be beckoning. Gerry Ooh-lee-ay has been dragged from his comfy French FA bed and thrust once more into the breach, pyjamas still on under that big coat, questioning what in crikey f**k he’s done. ‘I bloody love English football’ to paraphrase his initial press conference. 2 wins from 11 games and those rouge-tinged bins are slipping like an old girl on an icy day. Red being pertinent in this case, because like the harmless old uncle who always loses at monopoly but smiles contentedly throughout, he was practically giddy, applauding the old faithful no less, when his former protégés at Liverpool helped themselves to 3 points the other week. Sources indicate the Villa fans were in no way happy about this love-in.

To compound the problems facing him, his marquee signing, 37 year old former goon Bob Pires apparently refuses to live in Birmingham, and has hired a driver to take him from London to Brum and back for training every day. Can you imagine *insert current PL manager, doesn’t even have to be a pasty, bad tempered sweatie* allowing this at their club? From the outside, he seems to be doing the job of a well-travelled substitute that used to come in when your teacher was sick or knocked up. Yeah of course you can watch films all day and sniff glue, I’m out of here by the end of the week and will be in no way accountable for any of this. Anyone got a fit Mum?

So what’s in store for our Boxing Day clash this time around? Due to the weather, neither side managed to fit in a dust-up last week, so fresh legs aplenty. Rafa was just about ready for last week so another weeks training will certainly have done no harm, and The Atomic Kaboul is also back in the frame. I can see our ‘arry starting with a 4-5-1, Defoe up top and a Mod-Palacios-VdV central 3. I’ll let you fill in the blanks yourselves.

Prediction? 1-2.